Ladies and gentlemen, I am officialy unemployed.

I actually started to get a little emotional during my exit interview and had to hurry and get out of there before I started crying. But by the time I got down to the lobby I was fine, and as I walked out the front doors, "Free" by VAST started going through my head, the sky was clear, the temperature was mild, and my mood soared. By the time I got home I was downright giddy.

But maybe that's just 'cause Jerri got voted off on last night's Survivor. I was going to post a celebratory edition of Survivor Haiku this morning, but Blogger was down for the count, and by the time it came back up I was busy doing last day type stuff, and now the haiku mood has passed. But lest we forget why her defeat is such a special, special thing, I refer you now to the last edition of Survivor Haiku, The Jerri Rant. There really is justice in this world, kids.

A Tale of Two Seths

Karaoke dreams really can come true!

Superman: Stalinism, repression and the Soviet way - I'm all confused. It starts out talking about how Mark Millar's going to reinvent Superman and Batman (an Elseworlds project, I would assume), but then says he's been hired by Marvel to reinvent thier characters. Has there been a merger? Is there going to be a cross-over? Does this have anything to do with Stan Lee doing DC? Is it just bad reporting? My head hurts. Somebody please explain.

link lifted from tolkhan who stole it from elsewhere to begin with

I have this nagging sensation that I owe somebody an e-mail, but I can't think of who. If you're expecting a reply from me about something, or if I just owe you a chatty letter or something, please send me a nag-o-gram to remind me. Left to my own devices, I really can't be expected to keep track of these things.

You know, DC recently did this "Officer Down" storyline throughout their Batman titles, and all of the hype leading up to it led me to believe that they might actually kill off Commissioner Gordon. Secretly, part of me was hoping that they would, so that I could get pissed off enough to stop reading Batman and stop spending so much money on comics each month. Of course, they didn't, because unlike certain other comic companies who shall remain nameless, the fine folks at DC don't get their proverbial (or otherwise) rocks off by killing off beloved characters every time you turn around. Instead they turned out a really great, touching story, which just reminded me that, for the most part, these are some of the best mainstream books in the business (if you haven't checked in on Batman in a while, allow me to suggest that you pick up any of Greg Rucka's issues of Detective Comics, or any of Devin Grayson's Gotham Knights; these two writers are rockin' Batman's world, and mine too). Which means that if I had to stop reading them now, it would be dire indeed, which means that I'm going to have to figure out a way to keep my monthly comics budget intact. I can go without a lot of things, but I just can't go without my monthly Batman fix.

This Is Sunnydale

Episode 4 of Dancing Lessons is online, for anyone who needs help beating the re-run blues.

A couple of interesting search referrals today (that have nothing to do with naked anime characters, Ritalin, or Heather Havrilesky. Or naked pictures of Heather Havrilesky on Ritalin, though that particular search string really wouldn't suprise me, because that's the sort of freaky fanbase she seems to attract.): pictures of king kong squashing people and "everybody and their dog" +"Oklahoma City"

To both I say: Why?

Spike's Lament - my first attempt* at filking, y'all. What do you think?

*My pants are on fire. That's not my first attempt, it's just the first one I'm not too embarrassed to share. My real first attempt probably made Kurt Cobain roll over in his grave.

I currently have three different pairs of sunglasses in my purse. There's just no good reason for that.

'Course, that's probably because I buy sunglasses like I buy shoes: frequently, and regardless of whether or not I actually need a new pair.

New sunglasses and new shoes, man. That's the stuff.

Chiclet? I'm so sorry, Eleni. Just imagine, though, him and Mitzi, healthy and whole and hanging out together in Doggie Heaven. 'Cause, you know, they'd totally hang together. They're probably swappin' stories over kibble about what it's like to live with crazy, neurotic chicks like us who treated them like human babies (better, even). That'll keep them busy long into doggie eternity.

For anyone who's keeping track, I posted the second part of Soul Consequences over at my fanfic site. I also posted a new fic (by somebody who's not me) and a bunch more song parodies in the Extra section.

Damn. Sitting here typing just now I got wicked dizzy. I don't know what that was all about.

So. The Oscars. The only real surprise was Marsha Gay Hardin as Best Supporting Actress, and I was glad. I didn't see her movie, but it's always nice when the underdog wins.

I watched with my mom. She just didn't get Bjork. At all. I didn't really get the dead bird corpse that passed for her dress, but still, I'm cool with Bjork.

I still have to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Nobody will go see it with me because it's subtitled. But damn, Chow Yun-Fat. That's all I need to know, and I'm there.

It was a pretty uneventful weekend. Didn't go see the Matrix, because when I called for info they said they were just showing it in the IMAX auditorium, but it was going to be normal sized, so, eh. So I spent the majority of the weekend tinkering on the fanfic site and writing stuff and editing other people's fanfic. Woo fun.

I feel I should say something witty and/or fun, but I have nothing to say that fits into either category, and besides, I should really figure out what's going on with these dizzy spells, seeing as how I just had another one. Weirdness abounds.

Rent, Buffy style!

I thought of one more stupid joke. I'll tell this, and then I promise I'll stop.

A lady was getting ready to board a plane to fly first class to Paris. She tried to take her pet chihuahua with her on the plane, but the flight attendents refused to let her on the plane, insisting that the dog must travel in the luggage compartment in a carrier. Not having a carrier, the woman decided to just hide the tiny dog inside her coat, and boarded the plane.

Once they were in the air, the woman let the dog out of her coat, figuring by then there was nothing the flight attendants could do about it. As she did, the man sitting next to her lit up a cigar. "You can't smoke here," the woman told him. "It smells, and it's bothering my dog."

"Yeah, well, you're not supposed to have that dog on here," the man said. They proceeded to have a big argument, disrupting the entire plane. Finally a stewardess came to see what the trouble was. With neither party willing to budge, the angry stewardess grabbed both the dog and the cigar. She went to the plane's hatch, opened it up, and threw both outside. Horrified, the woman looked out the window, only to see her chihuahua sitting on the wing of the plane. And do you know what was in its mouth?

...

wait for it...

...

The brick!

See what I did there? They're a pair, see. Which really doesn't make them any better, but still, they crack me up.

And that officially exhausts my joke repertoire.

Dude! The Matrix is playing at the Imax! Guess where I'll be this weekend.

Geez, you're right, Pete, that joke is pretty bad. And yet it still doesn't out-do Terrence's for all around lameness and confusion-inducing. But I just remembered one that does:

A guy walks into a bar, and he's tossing a brick up in the air and catching it. He keeps doing this as he orders a shot of whiskey, and the bartender asks him what's up with the brick.

"I'm glad you asked," they guy says. "I bet you the cost of this whiskey that I can throw this brick in the air and down this shot before I catch it."

"You're on," says the bartender. The guy tosses the brick, downs the shot, slams the shot glass on the bar, and catches the brick, all on one smooth movement.

"That was pretty good," said the bartender, "but I bet you can't do that with two shots."

"You're on," says the guy. The bartender pours two shots, and again, the guy throws the brick and downs both shots before catching it again.

"Let's try it with three," the bartender challenges.

This goes on for a while until they get up to ten shots. "There is no way," says the bartender, "that you can down all ten shots before you have to catch that brick again."

"We'll see," says the guy. As hard as he can, he throws the brick in the air, as high as he can, and downs all ten shots.

...

That's it. That's the whole joke. If you get it, feel free to explain it to me.

Terrence and I were discussing our joke repertoires, which, as it turns out, both redefine stupid and lame. Mine consists entirely of the following:

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree?

A: It was on the first monkey's back.

Q: Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree?

A: Peer pressure.

And...

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?

A: Hey, there's a herd of elephants coming over the hill!

The really sad thing is, those never fail to crack me up.

Terrence's one joke isn't even worth mentioning here, which makes me feel a bit better about mine.

So. In one week and two days I'll be unemployed.

In two weeks and two days I'll be twenty-eight. Twenty-freaking-EIGHT, people!

Yeah. I think I picked a pretty bad time to stop taking St. John's Wort.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, because it happens to be true. The Mimsies rock.

The rumor making the rounds today is that I'm quitting to go back to school full time. Which is a lot closer to the truth, except for the part about me quitting voluntarily. At least today the congrats are followed by questions about my degree plans, which I can handle a lot better than the book questions.

If you ever question the power of a prominent link, you should take a look at my DL stats. Sonja Marie's Buffy Fanfiction Links gave us a link yesterday, and my visitor count quadrupled. At 8:00 this morning the count there was already about three times that of my daily average for this page. And to think I was actually kind of pround of my piddly little Ritalin Junkie stats before... That said, to those of you who do bother to check in on me regularly, I appreciate it. Especially those of you who aren't bound to visit occasionally out of familial obligation.

I think it's kind of twisted of the WB to make us re-live Joyce's cancer scare so soon after watching her die. At least the first time it aired there was hope that she would be okay. Bastards.

You know, Marc Blucas really is pretty cute. I still don't miss Riley, though.

Bah. If you're sick of re-runs and are pheemin' for some new Buffy, go check out Dancing Lessons. I just posted the third installment, which is really very good, and no, I didn't write any part of this one. I also added a section with some unrelated fics and a bunch of filking. So go read it. Go on. You know you want to.

Somehow, the rumor has gotten started that I'm quitting my job to go write a novel. I certainly didn't start this rumor, so I was pretty confused by all of the people who were not only congratulating me for leaving, but also asking me what my book's going to be about. I've been giving out a lot of blank, confused stares this morning, and going "huh?" a lot. I finally pieced together that my HR rep must have taken my "Getting laid off, eh? Well, on the bright side maybe now I'll have time to finish that novel I've been working on for the last three years" comment and ran with it.

So between trying to figure out if I should just smile and nod or say "Oh, for pity's sake, people, don't congratulate me for getting downsized!" I let slip that I already wrote a book and I just need to finish up the final draft. Which is old news around here, really, but we have a lot of new people who didn't know that already. And they all keep asking me what it's about. Actually, what they keep asking is, what kind of book is it?

I hate that question. I hate that it has to be pigeonholed into a genre. And I hate the looks I get from mainstream folks when I tell them it's sci-fi, which doesn't really cover it, but it's the easiest answer, and one that keeps people who don't get sci-fi from asking any more questions. But there are a few people who go on to ask what it's about, and I hate that question, too. Without giving away the finer plot points, probably the simplest answer is that it's a cross between Beauty and the Beast and The Island of Dr. Moreau, filtered through a paranoiac X-Phile imagination, but that makes it sound pretty trite and unoriginal, and I like to think that it's neither of those.

At any rate, I'm starting to get pretty frustrated, and I'm ready to start telling people, "Look. I got downsized, and I don't know what I'm going to do next, besides going to school and trying to sell my mss. I'm going to try to get by on temping and freelance writing, and I'm hoping for a big bundle of financial aid, but if I don't get it, then I'm pretty much screwed. So thanks for the congrats. See you Thursday for cake and ice cream."

I'm having a hell of a morning, thanks to various allergies and whatnot. I got into work an hour late this morning (what are they gonna do, fire me? Oh, wait, they already did that), but the upside of being late is that traffic had thinned out considerably by the time I got to the expressway so the drive in was rather pleasant. Except for all of the sneezing and not being able to see through my watery eyes. Anyway.

The questions have started. Apparantly they've started passing a farewell card around the department for me, so people are finding out I'm leaving, but they don't know the circumstances. So they keep congratulating me and asking me where I'm going. I keep saying "Heck if I know!" I'm not supposed to talk about the circumstances, but I think a couple of people put 2 and 2 together and figured out I'm not leaving voluntarily, so maybe it'll get around the office grapevine and people will stop being so damn cheery and inquisitive about my exit. Oh, and Thursday we get to have cake and ice cream to celebrate my departure. That's awfully kind of them. Careful, don't slip in that puddle of sarcasm there.

Something I learned ages ago. When people tell you there’s something wrong with a story, they’re almost always right. When they tell what it is that’s wrong and how it can be fixed, they’re almost always wrong. - Neil Gaiman

That's going on a sticky note above my desk at home. I'm so bad about listening to other people's suggestions, even when deep down I know those suggestions are wrong, and not trusting my own story telling instincts. And usually when that happens I just make it worse. Not that feedback isn't helpful, but sometimes it tries too hard to be helpful and ends up being something that is not.

Things I'm going to do once I'm only partially employed:

• Clean my carpet
• Finish the manuscript rewrites. That's right, I said finish them already, dammit!
• Submit finished manuscript to publisher
• Redesign!
• Finish reading 1984
• Read Pride and Prejudice
• Finish at least one of the short stories I started last year and try to sell it to somebody
• Have lunch w/ Terrence
• Have lunch w/ Tess & the post-Buffy crew (whom I haven't lunched with since their offices moved 'cross town)
• Sleep - never do this enough, currently
• BuffyCon!
• Sort and sell my X-Men comics (to get cash and make room for more Batman comics, you see)
• Label all of my Buffy videos
• Finish all of the fan fics I've started and then quit to write things I can actually try and sell
• earn a Psychology degree
• Re-acquaint myself with Ramen
• Step up the poodle maintenance--poor thing got his first hair cut in at least four months yesterday. Had to shave him clean because his fur was so matted. I'm a bad mother.

Damn. See all the stuff my job kept me from doing? I'll be busy and happy as a jobless clam for weeks before it starts to sink in that I'm poor. Especially if I can swing that new PC.

I saw Godspell this weekend, and it was quite the pleasant surprise. More on that later.

Before the show they gave us our season subscription renewal forms, and next season's lineup was another pleasant surprise. We're getting Spirit of the Dance, which I think is a sort of sequel to Riverdance, which was really very good in person; The Odd Couple (the female version!) starring Jeannie herself, Barbara Eden; Disney's Aida, which just. Kicks. Ass; Les Miserables, which I've seen before, but still, Yay! Actually, this was supposed to come this summer as an add-on to the current season, but they had to postpone it a year for remodeling or somesuch business. On the upside, now it's part of the season package so we won't have to pay extra for it; and something called Blast, which appears to be a drum & bugle corp with a bunch of acrobats and stuff, which actually looks pretty damn cool, but then again, I was a marching band geek, so cool is relative. Anyway, this lineup makes up for the suckage this year that were Showboat and Red, White & Tuna.

Also this weekend, I finally found time to snerk and snort my way through Pete's Mighty Big recap of Angus. I especially had to laugh at the commentary about Grampa's declaration that Superman wasn't brave because as soon as I read that the first thing I thought was "Grampa is SO wrong about that." My second thought was "God, I am SUCH a dork." But then Pete thought it was wrong too, so I felt vindicated. Anyway, great recap. Cracked me up.

Back to Godspell--I thought it was a great show. I didn't really know what to expect, I thought it would be JCS-lite, but it wasn't like that at all. I also expected it to be really dated, but they've done a great job of updating it for today's audiences. Basically, it's a depiction of what it would have been like if Jesus had been born thirty years ago and his ministry took place today. Beyond that, it was just a big ol' shout-out to post-modern pop culture, and a hilarious one at that. Towards the end of the first act they depicted the parable of the prodigal son, and when the faithful son found out that his brother came home and their father was throwing a party for him he started whining and turned in a dead-on impersonation of Eric Cartman. I laughed so hard I was in tears, and I very nearly peed in my seat. It was a good thing they had intermission right after that. Also, the music was so good that at intermission (right after I'd taken care of my potty emergency) I went to the souvenir stand and bought the CD. I'd never done that before.

Anyway, as for the main point of the show, I thought it did a great job getting across the message of Christ in a way that was accessible to everybody and not preachy. On the other hand, my mom attended the same performance with her sister and a friend of hers from church, and all three of them found it offensive enough that they left at intermission. I guess it's a generational thing--they think irreverent humor and the Gospel are unmixy things. Well, that, and on the back of the jacket that the Jesus character wore was that pyramid symbol with the eye that's on the back of the one dollar bill, and they're pretty sure that symbol is evil, and how dare they put an evil pagan symbol on the back of Jesus' jacket. It ruined the whole show for them. That sort of thing happens a lot with my mom and her friends. They let one little detail offend them so much that they're blinded to the message or to the positive things about the whole of the show, or movie, or book, or whatever it is. I just don't understand how people can live like that. Of course, they don't understand how I can overlook the little things and still enjoy something they find offensive, either. They think it's a faith issue, like if I was "right with God" then these things would bother me, too. But like I said, I think it's just a generational thing, so I don't let that bother me. I have to wonder, though, what they think Jesus would be like if he lived on earth today. They'd probably be pretty surprised.

At any rate, it's a Broadway show, not a ministry, and its only mission is to entertain, which it most definitely does. So if you ever get a chance, and you're not super-religious and easily offended, you should definitely go see it.

See, the thing about fan fic is, once you start, you can't stop. That's why I avoided it for so long in the first place. Anyway, I've got the first part of a new one up here, and somebody asked me if they could put it up here, and of course it's going to go up here just as soon as I get around to it, which may not be all that soon, really. Anyway, go read it, enjoy it (or not), and tell me what you think. It's completely unrelated to the round-robin fic, by the way.

I think I did okay on the math. I bought myself a decent calculator last night, and once I sat down and figured out how to use it, everything started to fall into place. I just hope they'll let me take the instruction sheet in with me when I take the test this afternoon, because if not I'll be completely lost as to which buttons I'm supposed to push.

This will probably cause pain to some of you more diehard geeks out there, but while I was calculator shopping last night, at Wal-Mart of all places, I saw an HP computer that has everything I need for under $800. And if I can get my sister to buy it for me with her employee discount that will cancel out the sales tax and I can keep it under $800. I didn't buy it, but I'm seriously considering going back there this weekend and putting it on layaway.

When I pulled into the parking lot this morning, there were police cars and news vans lined up all along the street. I was kind of afraid to walk through there to get to my office, because it looked like something major was going down, and I didn't want to get shot at or anything, but it was either that or go three blocks out of the way to get around them. So I walked through, and when I did, I found that the hubbub was all about the St. Pat's celebration at the pub across from the lot. So then I started to panic because I completely forgot about St. Patrick's Day, and didn't wear any green, but then I remembered that I don't really care, and then I remembered that it's not actually until tomorrow. So the cops and Channel 6 managed to fake me out twice this morning. That was fun. Except, not really.

In one hour and forty minutes I'm supposed to leave to go take my test. I guess I should go do some studying.

By the way, ritalinjunkie.org appears to finally be working, so you can start using that address now, if you're so inclined. However, it's set up to forward you to the current address, because ADDR would have charged me extra to set it up on their servers as my domain, and I'm too cheap to do that. So it will only get you as far as this page. Don't use it to link to anything inside.

I'm going to do so badly on the current segment of my math course. It's all due today, and I just managed to finish the reading last night. I just haven't been able to focus on it because of this job situation (more on that later). I have something like 15 problems to do, and I need a scientific calculator to do most of them, and I don't happen to own one of those. I probably need one for the quiz, too, come to think of it. I definitely need one for the test, which is tomorrow. I've been pulling all A's and high B's so far, so I suppose I can afford to fail one chapter, provided I pass the test and then get back on the high-performance horse for the rest of the semester. Looks like I'll be going calculator shopping after work tonight, though.

Speaking of the job situation, I met with HR yesterday. My last day here will be March 30, and I'll be getting a pretty good severance package. It will be enough that, combined with my as-yet-unspent bonus, I can go ahead and pay off that credit card, so I'm going to do that. I still need to figure out a way to get myself a new PC, though, so don't think any advice you gave me on that matter was wasted.

So. I suppose I should go work on some math, huh?

Survivor Haiku, Special Edition: The Jerri Rant!

Jerri's pure evil.
She'll be just like Richard Hatch.
She will never leave.

No, I take that back.
She's just a Rich wannabe.
Rich has no equal.

But I hate Jerri.
Really can't stand her. At all.
Beat her, Liz. Beat her!

Amber's no better.
She's Jerri's little minion.
At least Jerri thinks.

Run away, Colby!
Run while you can! Don't ally
yourself with evil!

Buh-bye Alicia.
Your muscles threatened Jerri.
So you're outta there.

I miss Snarky Jeff.
Have you seen his interviews?
He cleaned up real nice.

But back to Jerri.
Luxury item: Hair gel?
Her curls never frizz.

That's just another
reason to hate her. HATE her.
And her minion, too.

Did you see her face
when Alicia got the vote?
Hateful, hateful bitch.

Poor Jeff Probst, had to
spend time with her and Amber.
Host duties can suck.

According to the customer service folks at Dotster, ritalinjunkie.org should start working any day now. Of course, that's what they said when I first bought the domain back in January, so let's not hold our breath.

The English-to-American Dictionary - Yay! Now I can expand Spike's epithetic vocabulary beyond "bloody" and "sodding!"

Link lifted from Alysha, who has inspired me to try to use "gobsmacked" in a sentence at least once today. Especially now that I know for sure what it means.

They started interviewing people for my job this afternoon. Suddenly, it's real. I thought I was fine with this whole thing, but I think it just hadn't really sunk in until I saw the parade of perky candidates pass by my desk all afternoon, one of whom is going to be sitting here in my chair, using my computer, putting their stuff all over my desk, and doing my job, because I'm not wanted anymore. And I gotta say, now that it's really hit me, it hurts a lot more than I thought it would.

12 to 17-year-old girls and gay men are pretty much the only people who watch "Buffy" on a regular basis.

I know an entire forum full of adult professionals of all genders and orientations who would contend that statement, Jonno.

link swiped from Terrence, who already got one link credit today and doesn't need another link.

The warm-and-fuzzy, Spikelicious second episode of Dancing Lessons is now online, for those of you who are keeping track.

I think I just found a new daily read.

Egads, man! I'm not sure I'm up to that technical a task. Would each component come with detailed instructions on what in the blazes I'm supposed to do with it?

That explains so much.

Despite my little mini-rant about SXSW, this cracked me up. But I'm still jealous that all the cool kids got to go.

Thanks for the link, Terrence.

Congrats on the apartment, Eleni. Except for, you know, the part about the smell.

I was up too. damn. late. last night, revising a fan fic (yeah, I know) and trying to upload a song to my web account to go with the next DL installment. Actually, uploading it wasn't the problem. It was getting ahold of it in the first place. I'd originally downloaded it at work, and from there stored it at e24/7, but apparantly they've been doing upgrades the last few days, so I couldn't get there from home to download the stupid song. Wait, not stupid song. Stupid storage site. It's a good song. The site's not really stupid, either, since once they finally finished their upgrades around midnight last night their stuff worked better than it ever has before. But I had to wait till midnight to be able to log on, which was just damned inconvenient. In the meantime, I reinstalled Napster on my craptop, and tried to get the song that way, but I was quickly reminded why I deleted Napster in the first place. It's utterly useless if you're connecting from anything less than an ISDN line. My little 56K modem didn't stand a chance. I won't miss my job, but I'm going to miss my work computer (with its high speed DSL connection) so, so much.

Anyway, today I'm sleep deprived and grumpy. Which is really nothing unusual, come to think of it.

Awwww! You guys are making me all farklempt. I love tales of interblog love.

I didn't attend the con (I never get to attend conferences. Which reminds me, soon we're going to have to endure tales of SXSW and how wonderful it all was and all of the neener neener neeners from the folks that got to go. I hated that last year, and I'm going to hate it just as much this year. But I digress), but even so, I had to get myself one of these mugs.

I think I've let Terrence talk me into buying a new computer. So, any suggestions? Advice? It's been a long time since I've gone computer shopping. I've got about a thousand dollars to spend, and I don't want to get into any indentured servitude to any content providers. I want it for basically two things: writing and playing on the Internet. Playing on the Internet includes blogging and designing my little web pages, and collecting and listening to mp3's. And spending inordinate amounts of time at AdCritic. A CD-RW drive would be nice, but it's not a necessity. Any advice on where to shop, besides Best Buy? I've decided to hate Best Buy. It's always so hard to get a blue shirt to help you, and there's that whole warranty hard sale, and it always takes an hour to get through the checkout... it's even scarier than Wal-Mart. And believe you me, that's saying quite a lot.

Um, I take it that Pete didn't like 15 Minutes?

I rescued my avatar from GeoNazis! And since she'd been through so much behind enemy lines (and because I am a sad little woman with an active fantasy life, and this is the closes I'll ever get to seeing that particular fantasy come true), I fixed her up with the Spike avatar.



Aren't they a cute couple? He even put on the Gray Form Fitting Sweater of Pure Hotness for her. Such a sweet little bloodsucker.

Yeah, I had a lot of free time on my hands today. What of it?

I'm thinking about spending the bonus money on a desktop PC. The idea behind using it to pay off a credit card was to eliminate a huge monthly bill, but that's not going to happen if I can only pay off half of it. Since I won't have my nice work computer anymore, a new comuter pretty much falls under the category of Immediate Need. I'm reduced to basic functionality on my laptop. I went through yesterday and uninstalled and deleted all of my unnecessary programs, hoping to improve its performance, but that really didn't make a whole heck of a lot of difference. And the best excuse--it can't handle Quicktime, which is a necessary component for my online class. Plus, a new computer would just make me all kinds of happy, 'cause I'm a big honkin' geek.

On the other hand, if I wait for my severance package, maybe it, combined with the bonus, will be enough to cover the credit card. If I don't pay off the credit card, I'll have to find myself some kind of steady job to be sure I can pay that damn bill every month. Temping won't cut it. The great thing about temping is the flexibility, but the downside is that you're not guaranteed to work every week. If I do pay it off, I'll be able to afford to go back to temping, but I won't be able to afford a computer for a long time, unless I finance one, and then I'd still have another bill to pay each month, but it wouldn't be as big as the credit card bill.

*SIGH* It's really quite the dilemma. I hate having to be responsible with my money. I gotta give myself props, though, because just a year or two ago I would've run right out and blown that bonus money on all kinds of cool stuff, so I think this is a sign that I've grown as a person. I am becoming financially responsible. Yay on me. Maybe the bank will let me have an ATM card now...

Update on me: The good--I got my bonus. And, I will receive a compensation package from the company when I *cough*get fired*cough* resign. The bad--the amount they told me that my bonus was going to be was before withholdings. So I only received about half that amount. Which won't pay off any of my credit cards. But it will still make a pretty good dent. The ugly--my supervisor wants me to spend the next couple of weeks updating this book that explains how to do my job in such detail that a literate monkey could do it, as long as they had the book, and also to train her how to do my job (because, I guess, she doesn't want to read the book?). To which I say, what-bloody-ever. Somehow, I just can't see that book ranking too high on my priority list over the next couple of weeks.

But I'm not bitter.

Update on that kid from my Joker forum:

They're not suspending me! Yay! They sent an armed policeman to get me out of class, checked me for weapons, and sent me into the hearing. I brought with all the comics with the quotes in them (mainly The Killing Joke) and had to show them each one. After being well questioned by the school psyciatrist they decided not to suspend me on the condition that everything I write I have to turn into them for examination, and I have to report what books I'm reading to them. That means I have to stop writing sick, graphic horror stories and reading the same. NOOOOO!

They also went thru my locker. They found School supplies, Joker pictures tacked to the door, A copy of [The Phantom of the Opera], and a brain in a giant glass mayonaise jar I put in there last year. They dragged me back to the office so I could prove it was fake. *grumble grumble* They confiscated my brain. How many kids can say that, huh? *g*

Not suspended, but treated like a thug just the same. This makes me so angry I can't even form a coherent rant right now. The kid has a good attitude about it, though.

Who needs the live-action series? Get your weekly Tick fix right here.

Waaah! Snarky Jeff's gone!
But better him than Colby.
Things are heating up!

That's all I've got. I don't really have time for the haiku today. But did you see Richard Hatch on Entertainment Tonight talking about how they're probably afraid to vote Elisabeth out because they'd make her cry? Cracked me up. Rich is still an evil bastard. His commentator skills are getting better, though.

I updated my links, finally. Fixed those who've changed locations or domains, deleted a few who either never update anymore or who I just never visit anymore for various odd reasons, and added a couple of new links, one to pimp my new fan fic blog, and one for Neil Gaiman's blog, 'cause he's, you know, my writer hero, and I hang on his every word. I mean, the guy can make copy editing entertaining, for crying out loud.

This kid in my Joker Forum posted this morning to say that they're on the verge of getting suspended from school because a teacher noticed that they wrote several Joker quotes in their notebook and decided that they were threats. You know, it goes without saying that the recent school shootings are tragic, and I can't blame school administrators for being paranoid, but let's get a grip, people. The problem won't be solved by treating every kid who doesn't fit the mold like a criminal. I mean, damn! That kid in California out-and-out told everybody what he was going to do, for criminy's sake, and nobody did a thing about it; meanwhile we've got angsty misfit teens all across the country who already feel like outcasts being made to feel even more so by administrators who freak out over the teeniest sign of individuality.

You know, honestly, I don't think Terrence and I would have made it through high school in this kind of climate. We probably would have both been expelled, as would all of our friends.

Amazon just sent me a reminder about my own birthday, suggesting that I update my wishlist. Do they really think that's necessary? Are there really people out there who need to be reminded about an occasion for which people buy them stuff? If so, I'm definitely not one of those people.

Oh, hey. A note to Brandon, Randy & Liz: This blog exists for my amusement, and mine alone. If you don't like my choice of subject matter, tough noogies, nobody asked you. Get your own blog and put up or shut up. Punks.

The first installment of Dancing Lessons is up. By the by, it was written by yours truly. So go read it and tell me what you think. Because I'm needy like that.

It was supposed to go online last night, but I had some serious ISP issues, which is the second time this week. If this becomes a regular thing I may finally get around to changing providers. Or not, because I'm also lazy like that.

I have one comment to make about last night's Buffy rerun. Has Michelle Trachtenberg taken a growth spurt since the first half of the season, or did they have SMG standing on a crate during the "You can't go to your friend's house because she's short" scene? Because in last month's episodes Dawn was at least an inch taller than Buffy, but in that scene Buffy stood a whole head taller than her. But, you know, it just occurred to me that she was smooching on Riley in that scene, so they probably had her on a box for that. Mystery solved. Man, it must suck to be the shortest cast member.

Even though tonight's a rerun ("Family" - and so are the next two weeks. Bah!), I can't seem to avoid the Buffy links. Ain't It Cool's Herc spent Saturday night with Team Whedon, and brought back lots of juicy info, mostly about Angel. He also got ahold of a rather fishy set of spoilers. They sound pretty far-fetched to me, but then again, after the whole BuffyBot thing, nothing those shows do is going to shock me ever again.

See? I'm not the only one who thinks Lindsey McDonald should get a hook.

This link is for my benefit. Don't mind me.

I didn't have anything to do with this, just in case anybody was wondering (I don't have that much free time on my hands), but anyway, HEE!

Now I want to hook my avatar up with the Spike avatar (Billy Idol stylings regardless). But I'm a little embarrassed that I'm wearing the same shirt as Graham (a.k.a the Walking Chin).

Do you know why I don't write more (well, fiction, anyway) during slow time at the office? Because I tend to make the same facial expressions that I imagine my characters are making. Just think what I could have accomplished all these years if only I'd had partition walls around my desk.

Neil Gaiman has a Blog. Neil Gaiman has a Blog!

And the coolness factor just keeps on rising.

Thanks for the link, Pete.

From the "Further Proof that Jean Needs to Get a Life" department...

Heh. Remember when I joked about starting an All Spike blog? Well, I didn't exactly take that idea and run with it, it was more like I took that idea, made a side trip into the world of fan fiction, threw in some righteous indignation over the way Season 5 looks to be going, rallied the troops, and stumbled around with it a while. The end result, ladies and gents, is Buffy & Spike: Dancing Lessons.

Because when I decide to get into something, I go whole hog, baby.

You know, I heard a lot of not so good things about The Lone Gunmen before it aired, but I gotta say, I liked it. I don't know what everybody's problem was with it, unless they expected it to be more like X-Files. Anyway, I watched, I laughed, it was good.

I am devoid of anything even remotely interesting or witty to say to you this morning. Those of you saying that's no different from usual, shut up. Nobody asked you.

Hey, kids! Guess what time it is! That's right, it's time for...

Survivor Haiku!

No croc bites, just burns.
Well, how anticlimactic.
Figures it was Mike.

"I love you guys!" Damn.
He got some really good drugs.
Bye, Mike! Miss ya! Not.

It sure shook Jeff up.
He stopped being mean. He cared.
Come back, Snarky Jeff!

As for Ogakor,
Damn! I hate them! Hate them all!
Except Colby, natch.

Choc'late free Cowboy
has such pretty, pretty eyes.
I really dig him.

Ogakor makes me
yearn for Tagi and Pagong.
Rudy, Colleen...*SIGH*

Next week: the merger!
Going in Even Steven.
Ogakor lucked out.

Here endeth the haiku.

Today's not a 'blogging kind of day. It's really more of a scrambling-to-get-your-homework-done-by-deadline-whilst-fighting-off-a-headache-and-dizziness kind of day. Which is to say, not such a good day.