The Original Blog O' Jean

Also known, at various life stages, as Random Thought Process, RitalinJunkie, and JeanJeanie.Net.

Wednesday, February 28, 2001

For Eleni: Jump the Shark - the defining moment when you know a TV show has peaked, and it's all downhill from there. Taken from the episode of Happy Days wherein Fonzie literally jumped over a shark. However, I vote to replace that phrase with the more contempory (and much more bitterness inducing) phrase, "screwed the robot."

I figured I'd have more to say about Buffy after I slept on it, but really, I don't. Everything I would have pointed out has been done in a much more coherent fashion by Eleni.

Except that, all of you Anya haters out there, you just shut your traps. Don't ever let me hear you disparrage her again, or I'll have to come over there and mess you up. Damn. I've always been impressed with Emma Caulfield's comedic timing, but the chick also knows her way around a dramatic monologue. I started bawling last night the moment Buffy ran to the couch and started trying to shake Joyce awake, and I didn't stop until they got to Willow's dorm. By then I thought I was all cried out, but Anya proved me wrong.

As for Angel, I think one of my favorite scenes in the entire series is when Bubba Bo Bob Lindsey goes all Jealous Good Ol' Boy on Angel with a pickup truck and a sledge hammer. You know, I think Lindsey and Darla really are a good match. After all, they do share that Southern white trash background, and neither of them seem to be able to get over it.

If you've sent me e-mail at the office and haven't received an answer, it's because I'm not there. I called in sick. Last night I felt bad enough that I thought I was coming down with something, but really, I think I just needed some sleep. After 13 hours of it, I feel a lot better. Besides, it's snowing off and on, so it's probably a good thing I stayed home.

Tuesday, February 27, 2001

Well, damn. That was just the most emotionally devastating hour of fiction ever. No spoiler warnings, because you'd have to have been living under a rock in a third world country to not know by now that Buffy's mom died. Beyond that, there was no plot development. It was just an hour of Buffy & co. dealing with the immediate aftermath of Joyce's death. It was all done in real time, and, having been through the sudden death of a parent, I can assure you that it was entirely realistic. A bit too much so. There were some moments that cut a bit too deeply. I'm sure I'll have more to say about it tomorrow. Right now I'm still reeling and picking up the used Kleenextm.

Thankfully, Angel was quite a bit lighter in tone, but not so much that it didn't make a good compliment to the first hour. And it looks like Angel's not going to be playing the part of Broody McBroodpants anymore, and he didn't even have to turn evil for that to happen, so that should be fun.

Monday, February 26, 2001


Conversation at my house upon returning home from work tonight:

My mom: "Rough day?"

Me (dejectedly): "Not really."

Mom: "Then what's wrong?"

Me: "You wouldn't understand."

Mom: "Try me."

Me: "Before I left I read that my favorite actor who plays my favorite character in my favorite TV show might not be renewing his contract for next year. It's the damned robot, it's screwing everything up."

Mom: "..."

Me: "Also, I'm a sad little woman who has no life to speak of."

Mom: "You know, that church you were visiting last year had an excellent singles group..."

I went to take the first test for my math class on Saturday. I had to take it on campus since I don't have a procter at home to keep me from cheating while I take it online. The testing center was only open until 1, and I got there at noon. I'd planned to get there by 11, but a combination of oversleeping and needing to cram some more kept me from leaving the house that early.

So like I said, I got there at noon. I went inside and asked the administrator for the test. It went a little something like this:

Me: "I need to take a test for an online class."

Admin, who shall henceforth be known as Hateful Snot: "What class?"

Me: "Mathematics for Critical Thinking. Professor Grenier."

Hateful Snot: "You know, this test has a 90 minute time limit."

Me: "Okay."

HS: "We close in an hour."

Me: "Okay."

HS: "Everybody who's come in here to take it has needed the entire 90 minutes."

Me: "Wow."

Me and HS: LONG, EXPECTANT STARE

Me: "I guess I'll just have to do the best I can then, won't I? Shouldn't I get started?"

Hateful Snot made a snotty little noise and rolled her eyes so far back into her head I thought she might be having some kind of seizure, then let me sign in and gave me the test.

As I turned the finished test in to her 40 minutes later:

Me: "It really took people 90 minutes to finish this thing?"

HS (kurtly): "Yes."

Me: "Wow. It only had, like, 10 questions."

HS: "I'll sign you out."

Me: "Have a nice day."

Such a people person, that girl. Anyway, I believe I did well on the test. I'm generally having much less trouble with this class than I thought I would, and I breezed through the exam, so either I completely misunderstood everything and totally failed it, or I really had my shit together and aced it. I expect it was the latter. So yay on me.

I've been feeling a little burned out this week, as you might have gathered if you've been reading along, so after taking the test and running a couple of errands, I went home and, except for church, stayed there the rest of the weekend. Saturday night was a Buffy night. I watched the original movie, which still cracks me up. Especially Hillary Swank as Proto-Cordelia. And I'm ashamed to say, Paul Reuben's death scene still slays me. Here's some Buffy trivia: Did you know that Seth "Oz" Green had a small role in the movie, but his scene got edited out? I saw this once on an online Buffy trivia quiz. So if you're ever in a trivia contest and you get asked which cast member had parts in both the show and the movie, you'll ace this question. Really. No thanks necessary. Just doing a public service.

Anyway, I followed up the movie with a screening of "Welcome to the Hellmouth" and "Harvest," and I must admit, I almost had a breakdown every time Joyce appeared onscreen. Joyce--so young, so vibrant, so... not dead. Excuse me... I, I have something in my eye.

Whew. Anyway, Sunday, I went to church, and my little sister and her husband showed up, which was nice, but so did her psychotic stalker ex, which was just freaky. He didn't cause any trouble, though, and they managed to avoid him. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I kept trying to read, but I kept dozing off, so finally I gave up and went to bed until it was time for Andromeda. Following that were X-Files and La Femme Nikita, which only has one new episode left and then I can get off that crazy train, and then I went back to bed to sleep the sleep of the really very tired.

And now it's Monday, and I get to start the whole cycle over again. But at least there's a new Buffy to look forward to tomorrow night. For those of you who just can't wait, or who need time to emotionally prepare yourselves, here are some spoiler links:



It is a proud, proud day when one of your favorite weblogger people and one of your favorite web sites mix. Ladies and gentlemen, Pete's Mighty Big Extra.

I don't know for sure that that shout-out's for me, but I'm going to just say that it is and be happy. Don't burst my bubble.

Heh. I love Trance.

If you didn't watch X-Files last night (Terrence), the next paragraph contains a doozy of a spoiler.

<SPOILERS>

I'm a tetch perturbed that just as X-Files is getting exciting again it's going off the air for a month. A MONTH! 4 whole weeks to agonize over how the hell they're going to raise Mulder from the dead. I'm looking forward to "The Lone Gunmen," but not so much that I want to go a whole month without any X-Files. But hey! Wasn't that Krychek in the previews? YAY Krychek! Love me some ratboy!

</SPOILERS>

Saturday, February 24, 2001

I'm posting this for the soul purpose of cheering me up when I get to work on Monday morning--but you just might enjoy it, too.

Friday, February 23, 2001

Because I just can't let it go...

Someone in the club watched this week's Buffy, said "screw that!" and wrote their own follow-up to "Crush". It's really very good, and is pretty much what I was hoping to see. Best of all, it contains no Buffy shaped sexbots, implied or otherwise.

Oklahoma gots 'gators!!!

link pinched from Terrence

Halloween 8: MichaelMyers.Com - See, the first time I watched Fear on MTV, and those kids were swearing that someone was sitting underneath the tarp on the electric chair, my first thought was "Ooh, what if some kind of Michael Myers wannabe infiltrated the prision and really is waiting under the tarp, waiting to kill them all? Now THAT would make good tv!"

Not so sure it would make such a good movie, though.

Grazing Reality - I'll tell you what I think. I think that women don't get breast enlargements to become "objects" in the minds of men, they do it to feel beautiful. Beautiful does not equal 'sex object'.

Maybe so, Eleni. I agree that if that's what it takes for a woman to improve her self-esteem, then by all means, she should go for it, without taking any of that sort of flack. Still, isn't it rather a shame that in our society some women have to resort to surgically altering their bodies to meet an artificial, hyped-up standard of physical beauty in order to feel beautiful?

It's that time again, kids--time for Survivor Haiku!

Chicken Lover's gone!
No big surprises there, folks.
Maybe now she'll bathe.

Embarrassing, but
Jeff Probst was turning me on.
Yay wet, rain soaked host!

Jeff V. cracks me up.
I hope he won't get outed.
From the tribe, I mean.

Alicia, honey,
chill. You'll motivate your ass
right out of the tribe.

Ogakor won. Yay!
Even if they're all assholes.
Except for Colby.

Colby, Colby. Yum.
I'm a sucker for cowboys.
Well, really, just him.

I have decided
to stop rooting for Amber.
Whiny little bitch.

Keith vs. Jerri:
"Barkeep actress wannabe."
Heh. Heh heh heh. HA!

Next week's episode:
"When pissed crocodiles attack!"
*SIGH* Mike, don't hunt crocs.

Thursday, February 22, 2001

The first time I went to college, when I was around 20, I developed the habit of procrastinating until the last minute on assignments, studying, and whatnot, and pulling all-nighters to get them done just under the deadline. It was a good system, then. Not the best system, but it worked for me, then.

So, having unintentionally fallen behind on this week's math assignment, last night I figured I'd revert to my old system, and everything would be cool.

Today I am reminded, sadly, that I haven't been 20 years old for quite some time now. My body is rejecting that old system. Actually, my body seems to have decided lately that it will not move until it has had no fewer than six hours of sleep. This has resulted in a few times lately, including this morning, that my brain has simply shut out the sound of both of my alarm clocks until such time as it has completed that sixth and most crucial hour. Not that showing up late for work is much of a concern for me these days, but still. It's rather inconvenient.

So all morning I was convinced that today was a bad day. It started out with me oversleeping, groggy and still brain-tired after a late-night algebra session. After arriving to work late, and checking my e-mail, to which I had cc'd the assignment on which I'd stayed up so late busting my rear, and seeing nothing there, I proceeded to panic. If my assignment didn't show up here, then it probably didn't show up in my prof's in-box, either. Also, last night I tried to take the quiz (did I mention that yesterday was the deadline for both assignment and quiz?), but the system locked me out and wouldn't let me take it. It appeared that my e-mail informing the prof of this didn't go through, either. So basically, I was screwed on this entire chapter. Right?

Well, no. Just as my panic level began to reach critical mass, I got an e-mail from the professor. He received my homework, and he re-opened the quiz so I could take it today. Which I just did, and I'm pretty sure I aced it. So yay on me.

Once that was out of the way, I decided that today is a good day. I'm actually in a pretty good mood. I'm a little uncertain about what my immediate future holds, but strangely, knowing that I won't be here much longer has given me a real sense of peace and freedom. The temping option is seeming more and more likely, at least for a little while. Sure, the reality of being dirt poor will hit me like a sack of bricks some time after I stop bringing home a steady paycheck, and will most likely necessitate finding myself another steady gig. But between now and then, I'm enjoying the idea that that's even an option, and that I'm getting close to taking back control of my life. It feels more like I'm standing on the threshold of a new beginning than that I'm losing anything.

I think I'm going to embrace the poor college student lifestyle, and try to combine it with that of the hopefully-not-struggling-too-much freelance writer. Today I really think I can make it work. And I'm actually looking forward to the prospect of liking my life again. It's been a long time since that's happened. It's really a nice feeling.

Well that's odd... I thought I took that section down.

Gawk at my pitiful little homage to Dave McKean (chupacabra, indeed) if you will, but disregard the sample chapters, as they've been (or are being) totally rewritten.

The Magic Box!

Alas, there is no photo of Anya, huge or otherwise.

Wednesday, February 21, 2001

If you're interested in reliving the day that Buffy jumped the shark, the Mighty Big TV recap of "Crush" is up.

Last night's Buffy, particularly the devolution of Spike, has left me more depressed than I care to admit. Hence, I'll try to distract myself by focusing on something that actually has bearing on my life.

I got my SAR back from the Financial Aid people last night. It looks good. I'm not eligible for Pell grant, which I hoped for but didn't really expect, but I should be eligible for something. The college is supposed to be sending me a financial aid package pretty soon.

We get our bonuses in two days, too. Mine is, of course, going directly to my creditors. Every now and then I think of other stuff I could spend it on, like a new tv (I have an old 13" that doesn't support my DVD player and I've been wanting so badly to upgrade to a new 25". Or even 19". Anything would be an improvement), or a desktop PC (because my laptop is a slow, maxed-out-memory piece of crud and if I leave here without having another office job lined up it's going to be the only computer I have on which to rely), or a VCR that doesn't chew up my tapes and that doesn't blink off and cancel the recording timer of its own volition; but no, I am going to be good, and buy partial freedom from the chains of bondage that are my credit cards. Yay on me.

Update: I was just given my annual raise, but that news was followed by the news that they've changed my job description and put it out on the internal job postings, so what-fucking-ever. My supervisor said I can reapply for my own job, but I asked (and managed to do so without laughing) what good that would do, really, since if they wanted to keep me on they'd have just sent me to training to learn the one program that makes the new job description so different. In a surprise moment of honesty, she said probably not much.

So I have about 6 weeks to decide whether I want to transfer within the company, find another job altogether, or just ride it out until they let me go and then return to temping. The last option actually sounds the most appealing, if the least lucrative. The thing is, when I asked what would happen if I did this, she said she'd look into it, but mentioned the option of me turning in my resignation with an indefinite end date. I wanted to point out that I'm not resigning, I'm being forced to leave so that someone else can take my job, but I didn't. It seems to me like they're going to do everything they can to manipulate this so that they don't have to give me any kind of severance compensation. Suddenly I'm wondering if I shouldn't have my mom mention this to her lawyer. Not to take action, just to find out what my rights are.

Feh. At least now Spike's downhill train to loserville is the least of my problems.

O happy day.

Terence, you may not think you're a great writer, but you're certainly an entertaining one.

Alright, so maybe I should tell you a little more about last night's Buffy. Here are some quick thoughts, but not a replay. It doesn't deserve a replay. It was painful enough to sit through once without having to rehash the whole thing.

I think Jane Espenson is also on my list now.

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<SPOILERS>

This episode brought me very little joy. It had some nice moments, but overall, I didn't care much for it.

The good:

-Joyce looked so young and pretty at the beginning, and I loved her interaction with her girls. "Maybe he's a gigolo. Was his shirt shiny?" Cute.

-Joyce looked so, um, well, dead at the end, and I'm really trying not to dwell on that part right now. I did immediately go and tell my own mommy that I love her as soon as the ep ended, though.

-Cute!Sweet!Xander! How I've missed him.

-Anya cracked me up. "Computers, whoa! I'm 1,100 years old. I had trouble adjusting to the idea of Lutherans." Also, her hair looked very pretty, and she seems to have become awfully secure in her relationship with Xander.

-Unlike Tara, who was laying on the jealousy a bit thick, but I'm not going to complain because she actually seemed to have something of a personality tonight. "Just trying out a little spicey talk." Heh.

-Glory: "She turned us down?" Heh.

-Oz! Okay, he wasn't actually there, but thanks to Xander his presence was felt.

-Spike, at the party. You know the line. Followed by the suggestive smirk and eyebrow waggle. That may very well be my single favorite Spike moment ever. Too bad that wasn't his only scene in the show. But what I wouldn't give to know what he whispered in April's ear.

-Ripper. 'Cause he's just so cool.

-Buffy's new found independence, which I've long been wanting despite my 'shipper hopes.

-Britney Spears wasn't available for this ep. If she had been, that would have put it right up over the intolerable scale for me.

The bad:

-Ben's acting.

-Jinx. Is Dreg just gone for good now?

-The shot of April breaking the see-saw looked laughably fake.

-Spike trying to ingratiate himself to the SG was cringe inducing. Oh Snarky Big Bad, where art thou?

The Ugly:

-Ben.

-Dawn's and Anya's treatment of Spike. I expected as much from the rest of the SG, but Anya has always been sympathetic towards Spike, and Dawn's 180 had no context. Maybe if we'd seen or even heard mention that Buffy convinced Dawn that Spike is bad, it wouldn't have been so jarring. But just last week he was her favorite person on the planet, and out of the blue she's all "stay away from me." What's that all about?

-The obliteration of the last remaining shreds of Spike's dignity.

-Just the very idea of Spike ordering up a BuffyBot, especially juxtaposed with Joyce's apparant death.

-Everything that the BuffyBot implies. Please, Joss Whedon, I beg of you, no robot sex. Ever. I'd almost rather watch Buffy make her O face with Ben.

Eww, I just made myself retch.

Overall, this ep left me feeling pretty down. Also, tonight's Angel kicked it's ass on every level, which is rare, but I'm glad I had something to get excited about before I turned off my telly. It actually was recap worthy, but unfortunately I cued the tape wrong, and it ran out less than halfway through the episode, and I don't want to go by memory after just one viewing. Just know that it kicked ass. If you need a summary, Loey's got one.


</SPOILERS>

Tuesday, February 20, 2001

Buffy spoilers...

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<SPOILERs>

Joyce apparantly died. And so, apparantly, did the last remaining shreds of Spike's dignity. Excuse me now while I go back to quietly mourning both.

</SPOILERs>

I made some updates to my bio page. See if you can spot the changes!

On second thought, if you can pick out what's different, then I think you kind of frighten me.

Have you ever been so tired that you almost wish you could come down with something just so you'd have a legitimate excuse to stay in bed and have people leave you the bloody hell alone for a couple of days?

I'm not quite there yet, but I'm getting there.

I'm having one of those surreal days where I keep going on auto-pilot and it feels like everything I do isn't really me and the real me is watching from a distance. Did that make any sense whatsoever? Okay, it's like, I'm just going through the motions, and my brain is completely detached, but then I'll have these startling moments of clarity where I snap back to the present and realize that it's really me doing this job.

Um, yeah. Weird day, is what I'm sayin'.

Anyway, to celebrate Buffy-day, here are some links:

And, in a shameless attempt to pimp my own contributions to this here world wide web, and because I want people to go talk to me...

The band Lifehouse has been getting a lot of air play on the local Christian Alternative (yes, there is such a thing) radio station. Which surprised me, because I don't think they market themselves as a Christian band. Still, it puts their song, Hanging By a Moment in a whole different context. And makes me feel kind of wrong about applying it to Spike's Buffy-love.

"Where did Bill the Cat come from ,for chrissake?"

Indeed. But I'm so glad he showed up.

Thanks be to Terrence for the link.

Schnitzelbank!

Monday, February 19, 2001

Declaration: Phil Joel's "Strangely Normal" is my new theme song.

Confession: I still have my first ever teddy bear. My mom made him for me from a Simplicity pattern (or maybe it was McCall's), out of a coat that my brother had outgrown. He's all blue corduroy and fleece, with blue/green-blue plaid patchwork on his ears and paws. Hence, his name is Blue Bear. He's missing an eye, but that's okay because they were of the sew-on button variety, which can be pulled off and eaten, and if I ever have a kid to pass him on to I was going to replace them with something safer anyway. He's had to be sewn up a few times over the years, but otherwise he's aged remarkably well. Despite having frayed patchwork on his ears, he's an excellent listener. Always has been. He is an ever loyal companion, Blue Bear is.

Now for the real confession: I still sleep with him. Every night. I even take him on trips. I'm going to be 28 in less than two months, and I can't fall asleep without my little blue bear. My dog and cat I could do without, and would in fact probably sleep much better without a dog on my bed constantly licking himself throughout the night and a cat-butt in my face, but I simply must have my teddy bear.

I am a sad, simple girl.

Speaking of sad and simple, here are spoilers for tomorrow night's continued Spike-fest. I warn you, though, I read the summary (I haven't read the captions), and it messed me up. Seriously. Read at your own emotional risk.

Friday, February 16, 2001

I think it's pretty clear by now that there will be no Survivor haiku today. I'm sure my one haiku fan in the audience is heartbroken. Anyway, it's late and I'm tired and I don't feel good.

Have a good weekend.

Two days without any administrative people in the office means I have loads of work to do for a change. Watch this space for Survivor haiku, if I manage to get caught up in time to write some.

In the mean time, if anybody besides me still cares (or ever did), here is another interesting take on the whole Spike/Buffy/good/evil/chip/soul/vamp!love thing.

Thanks to my 'shipper-buddy Milhous for the link.

Thursday, February 15, 2001

Someone came here searching for Alexis Denisof in the nude. I'm telling you this because if I have to have that image burned into my brain, then so should you. I'm not going through that sort of torment alone.

I mean, Wesley's kind of cute and all, but damn. I didn't need that.

I've got the whole day to hang out and catch up on the Buffy boards, guilt-free, but I get there only to see the following message:
Oh, hello. Back again, are you? Well, we're still trying to optimize the server. We're so very sorry; we don't know what to do with ourselves either. We hope it'll get done by Friday. Please do come back and see us then.

Buffy fans across North America and parts of Europe are having a collective cow (not to be confused with the CoW). Friday? The hell?

I guess I could go read my math lecture.

Bah.

Ice. Feh. I got about halfway to work, and after about my fourth near miss and the realization that it's going to be raining and sleeting a freezing all day and the drive home wouldn't be any better, I gave up and came back home. The office will survive another day without me. And I certainly don't have any problems with going another day without the office.

Wednesday, February 14, 2001

I didn't talk about last night's Angel, did I? Oh, well. It was an enjoyable enough ep, but I really don't have much to say about it other than that I'm loving the running gag that is Cordelia's butt-ugly shirt.

Oh. And also that, she's really upset with Angel, isn't she? Not that she shouldn't be, but I think Angel still has no idea how hurt Cordy was by the firing and the lack of communication since. It seemed to me that Cordy had come to think of Angel as the big brother she never knew she always wanted, and the family connection between them was really important to her. He's going to have a lot of making up to do if he ever wants to get back on her good side.

Also, I love her hair now.

Should one ever, for whatever reason, wish to inspire me to giggle with insane glee, one need only utter the phrase, "If you want me to leave you'll have to put your hands on my hot, tight little body and make me."

Of course, it would also help if one said this in a British accent while exuding major attitude and pure hotness.

Buffy replay, , review, ranting, raving, and righteous indignation ahoy. And, if you haven't seen it yet, spoilers. This is going to be pretty long.

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<SPOILERS>

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Episode 5.14 - "Crush"


We open at the Bronze, newly reopened after repairing the troll damage from "Triangle." Xander & Anya and Willow & Tara are dancing, and Buffy's watching from their table. Spike plops himself down next to her and starts complaining about the club's price hikes and their changes to the menu (they dropped the onion blossom, Spike's new favorite non-human food item). Before coming to the Bronze, Spike apparantly fell into Riley's wardrobe. You thought I was going to finish that with "the GAP," didn't you? I was, originally, but that joke was too easy, and has already been used umpteen times on the boards I frequent. At any rate, he was wearing normal guy clothes, which, while I can see the thinking behind it, bothered me just a bit, considering Spike's previous speech to Riley about how Buffy likes a bit of monster in her man. That's not to say that Spike didn't look good, because he did.

Buffy cuts Spike off and goes out of her way to put him down, which was completely uncalled for. He explains that he thought they were on good terms after he helped her out with Glory, but she tells him he wasn't much help at all. The Scoobies come back to the table and Xander insults Spike some more. Spike is so upset that he accidentally knocks over his beer before getting up to leave, except not really, he just thought it would be a good way to grab the cash Xander left lying on the table, and it works. Xander figures out what Spike did and follows him to the bar to get his money back. Meanwhile, Buffy spots Ben across the way, and goes to talk to him, and I shudder. Not in a good way, but in an ick-poo-nasty kind of way. While she's thanking him for helping Dawn, Spike notices, and is obviously not pleased.

Cut to the train station. The train pulls up, but nobody gets off. The conductor boards the train to see why. Screaming ensues. The conductor tries to get off the train but is jerked back violently. More screaming. This scene is actually pretty scary, which has become somewhat of a rarity on this show.

Opening credits, followed by Levi's commercial which permanently sticks "Karma Chameleon" in my head.

Buffy arrives home and relieves Giles, who was apparantly supposed to afford some kind of protection for the Summers girls should Glory show up. I didn't really buy that, and, Joyce confesses, neither did she. Buffy sees Giles out, and asks his advice on how they should treat Dawn. He tells her that they should give her no special treatment. Buffy thanks him, then spins around and starts hollering at Dawn, accusing her of stealing her blue cashmere sweater.

You know which sweater.

The sweater that Spike is currently fondling forelornly in his crypt. He hears Harmony coming and hides it. Harmony wants some nookie, and attmepts to seduce Spike, but he's just not in the mood. This scene is extremely reminiscent of that scene in Mad Love where Harley Quinn comes onto the Joker, and I suddenly realize why I'm so attached to Harm, and I begin to harbor hopes that we'll someday see a Harley & Ivey style paring between Harmony and Dru. Harmony suggests to Spike that they could play a game, and suddenly looks interested.

Cut to Harmony, wearing the sweater, holding a stake, and doing a very comical imitation of Buffy stalking Spike. Suddenly Spike jumps out of his hiding place and jumps Harmony's bones, and I'm pleasantly surprised but then upset by an all-too-fleeting glimpse of Spike without his shirt on, which is truly something to behold. I wonder why they didn't flaunt that more. Maybe James' tan lines were too obvious when they shot that scene or something.

The next day, David Fury drops his biggest and most blatant anvil of anti-shipper sentiment on our heads as Willow, Buffy, and Tara exit a class discussing The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Willow, as the voice of the 'shippers, whines that she doesn't understand why Quasimodo couldn't have ended up with Esmerelda, and Tara, as the rational voice of anti-shipdom, explains that "it can't end like that, 'cause all of Quasimodo's actions were selfishly motivated. He had no moreal compass, no understanding of right. Everything he did he did out of love for a woman who'd never be able to love him back. Also, you can tell it's not gonna have a happy ending when the main guy's all bumpy." Yeah. Great analogy for Spike and Buffy, except for the part where it's not. At. All. Cheeze whiz! You'd think that if a writer is going to use a literary reference to so heavily underscore his point, he would at least be familiar with the source material. I read that book. Quasimodo didn't have an evil bone in his entire misshapen body. The villain in that book was the evil bishop Frollo, and Quasimodo was as much a victim as, if not moreso than, Esmerelda. It's entirely obvious that David Fury never read this book, or else he was just hoping that nobody in the audience ever read it. At any rate, he'd have been better off using The Phantom of the Opera to make his point, which is a much closer analogy, and would have set my Phantom fan's heart all a-flutter.

Anyway, Buffy didn't read the book either, so instead of being the voice of the viewers who actually know what a boneheaded discussion Willow & Tara just had, she takes on the voice of the viewers who are still undecided on the whole Spike & Buffy equation by saying she won't have an opinion until she takes the test. Which the 'shippers in the audience decide to interpret to mean that she, herself is undecided on the whole Spike & Buffy thing, which is good for us. It means there's still hope. As she jokes about attempting to take the test off of the Disney version, she notices someone reading a paper with the headline, "6 Found Murdered On Train At Sunnydale Station." She steals the paper, skims the article, and concludes that it's the work of vampires.

At Spike's crypt, he's coming out of a trapdoor in the floor that we've never, ever seen before now. Interesting. He's startled by Dawn, who wants to know what's under the trap door. Hmm. What, indeed. Could that be where he keeps the Buffy shrine that you just know he's been erecting ever since that whole sweater sniffing incident? He won't show her what's under there, and tries to get her to leave. He's got things to do. "Bad, evil things... that aren't for a child's eyes." Dawn pouts that she's not a child, not even originally human. "Yeah, well," Spike says, "originally, I was. I got over it. Doesn't seem to me it matters very much how you start out." Dawn appreciates that Spike doesn't treat him like a child, and proceeds to tell him so, concluding by saying that she feels safe with him. In his surprise he inhales his cigarette the wrong way and starts coughing, and demands that she take back that sentiment. Dawn tries to ease the blow by telling him it's just because he's as tough as Buffy, maybe tougher, and Buffy thinks so, too. Spike is intrigued as he hops up on the sarcophagus and asks, "What else does Buffy say about me?"

I feel compelled to mention here that Spike is now wearing a tight gray sweater which I shall hereby dub the Form Fitting Gray Sweater of Pure Hotness. I also vaguely notice that he's wearing cargo pants, which is kind of a shocker, but really, I can't take my eyes off of the sweater, or rather, the outline of his chest which is plainly visible through the sweater. Suddenly I'm forgiving of the little shirtless-Spike teaser from before.

Buffy gets home from college, and Joyce is alarmed because Dawn hasn't come home from school. Buffy sets out to find her.

Back at the crypt, Spike is telling Dawn an incredibly disturbing story about one of his killing sprees back in the day. Because, you know, Spike is an evil killer. Just in case we forgot. At a particularly suspenseful part, when he's about to tell her about finding the little girl of the couple he'd just killed hiding in a coal bin, Buffy bursts in, and Spike and Dawn both jump.

Note to the creative staff: Spike and Dawn are incredibly fun to watch together. Even moreso at this point than Spike and Buffy. Please continue to put them together as much as possible. Thank you.

Buffy has come to ask Spike to help her find Dawn--because when you're little sister doesn't come home from school, the only logical thing to do is run straight to the guy who's supposed to be your mortal enemy for help--but is both surprised and perturbed to find that Dawn is there. Dawn refuses to leave until she hears the rest of the story--and I must say that she's a little too into this story, which is a bit bothersome, especially in light of Glory's ambiguous answer as to whether or not the Key is evil--and Buffy is indeed curious to hear just what kind of story Spike was telling her baby sister. Spike straightens up and finishes the story. "So, uh, I knew the girl was in the coal bin. And I rip it open, very violently, and haul her out of there. And then I gave her to a good family in a nice home where they're never, ever mean to her, and didn't lock her in a coal bin." Heh.

Dawn pronounces his story to be lame, and Spike insists to Buffy that he was about to send Dawn home because he knew she'd be fretting. At this point, if it wasn't clear before, it is now painfully obvious that Spike is completely and utterly whipped. It's really a sad sight to see, Gray Sweater of Pure Hotness notwithstanding.

Buffy takes Dawn home, and on the way, as Dawn talks about Spike, it's clear that she has a crush on him. Buffy lectures her about the Pure Evilness that is Spike, and says, "You cannot have a crush on soemthing that is dead and evil and a vampire." "Right," Dawn says, "that's why you were never with Angel for three years." Touche. "Angel's different. He has a soul." Yawn. "Spike has a chip," Dawn says. "Same diff." Yeah! Buffy exclaims that she can't listen to this, and continues to explain to Dawn that Spike is a monster. Dawn tells her not to worry, because even if she did have a crush on him, he wouldn't notice, because, "Spike's completely in love with you."

"Huh?"

Commercial. You know, I'm pissed off at Dawson for asking Joey if she slept with Pacey, and I don't even watch that show. It's none of his business, and besides, Pacey's way cuter.

At the train station, Buffy & Xander duck under the police tape and board the train to look for clues. As they search, Buffy tells Xander what Dawn said about Spike. Xander--remember him? The guy who dates demons?--laughs uncontrollably, and really rather creepily. Buffy slumps in a seat with a chalk outline and unconsciously assumes the same position as said outline, and declares Spike's crush to be creepy. Heh. Xander tells Buffy she needn't get creeped out by one of Spike's delusional daydreams. Buffy then tells Xander she thinks Dawn has a crush on Spike, and Xander is upset, because Dawn us supposed to crush on him, and it just increases the creep factor. And, Xander? That greasy pedophile hairdo really isn't helping matters, buddy. Geez. Cut the hair. Please?

Buffy goes home and heads toward the kitchen where Joyce is talking animatedly about her day at the gallery. As she approaches the kitchen, Buffy sees that Joyce is talking to Dawn... and Spike, who is actually doing a pretty convincing and utterly charming job of feigning interest in Joyce's story. I guess all that time William put in at all those high society parties didn't go completely to waist. He's changed out of the Gray Sweater of Pure Hotness into another GAP ensemble, by the way. Still lookin' good.

Joyce starts to repeat the story for Buffy's benefit, but Spike politely cuts her off and says he needs to speak to Buffy. He's got a bead on the vamp that killed the train passengers, and he wants to show her. And he'll do it for free. Naturally, Buffy is suspicious, but she goes with him anyway.

They're sitting in Spike's car, which was kind of surprising, because we haven't actually seen the DeSoto since season 3, and I'd figured he must have gotten rid of it after his last jaunt to South America, and I wonder where he's been keeping it all this time. Anyway, they're staking out a warehouse. Spike reaches for Buffy's knee, she practically screams, but really, he's just reaching for the glove box, from which he takes a flask. He takes a sip from it, then offers it to Buffy. "Eww," she says. "It's not blood," he tells her, "it's bourbon." "Eewwww!" They sit in silence for a moment, then Spike starts rocking out and singing a Ramones classic, then turns to Buffy. "Do you like the Ramones?" Hey! I do! Buffy just looks at him, then starts to ask him what he's after if not money. He shushes her, and they enter the warehouse.

This is already way too long, so I'm going to try to cut to the chase.

Inside the warehouse, a couple of vamps run away, shaming Spike on behalf of his kind. Buffy looks around and realizes those vamps have lived there awhile, and would not have been on board an inbound train. Smelling a red herring, she demands to know what Spike is up to. She asks him if she thinks they're on a date. Spike acts indignant at the suggestion, then asks, "do you want it to be?" Buffy freaks out, but Spike is undeterred as he begins to lay it all on the line. He has feelings for her. He's changed. He can be good. David Fury drops another really big anti-shipper anvil as Buffy interrupts Spike to explain why this can't happen, resulting in this exchange: "What, that chip in your head? That's not change, that's just holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison!" "But women marry 'em all the time!" Sheesh. The quality of subtlety is not David Fury. Spike goes on to tell Buffy that he can't stop thinking about her, and that he's willing to turn his back on the whole evil thing. Buffy insists that he doesn't even know what feelings are. Spike begins to say that he loves her, but she cuts him off and won't let him finish. "We need to talk," he says. "We don't need to do anything, okay? There is no we." She storms out.

Back at his crypt, Spike looks defeated and sad, when who should emerge from the shadows but Drusilla, "who's come to make everything right again."

Commercial.

In the crypt, Spike fills in everybody who hasn't been keeping up wiht Angel by repeating the story that Dru's just told him about Darla's return. Spike resents that she's there because hooking up with Darla made her nostalgic for the old days. She wants him to go back to L.A. with her, but he tells her he's perfectly happy in Sunnydale. She accuses him of lying, and tells him she had a vision of the chip. She then says, "I don't believe in science. All those bits and molecules no one's ever seen. I trust eyes and heart alone." Coming from someone who constantly sees and hears things that aren't really there, that's quite a statement. It seems to work for Spike, though, as she does one of her mindbends on him and convinces him that the chip can't hurt him, and that he's as bad as he's ever been.

Harmony comes in, and assumes that Spike brought home a Drusilla look-alike in the hopes of a threesome. To which she responds, "no threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl. Or Charleze Theron." Heh. Spike tells her that it really is Drusilla, and Harmony begins to lay the smack down on her. But when she insults Dru, Spike grabs her by the throat, throws her across the room, and tells her to hit the road, and I am again reminded of the Joker and Harley Quinn. Harmony is near tears. "Why?" she asks Spike, and I really feel sorry for her. "Because she's back?"

"No," Spike says. "Because I am."

Oh, shit.

Drusilla looks pleased as punch, and she and Spike begin to make out.

Cut to Chez Summers, where Willow and Joyce are freaking out over the news that Spike professed his love to Buffy. Joyce does a complete 180 in her attitude towards Spike and worries that he could become dangerous. But Buffy's not worried about that. Joyce asks if she somehow led him on unintentionally in any way. The audience says, "Let's see... there was the time he showed up in her back yard with a shotgun, and she not only didn't kick his ass, but she let him hang out with her; then there was that time she dropped her family off at his crypt and gave him puppy dog eyes until he agreed to protect them; then there was the other day when she picked him to be on her team to go look for her missing sister, and they shared an intense little eye contacty moment in the park... oh, and let's not forget that she never revoked the invitation into her house that she gave him way back in season two, despite the fact that she's caught him breaking into her house at least twice, once to steal pictures of her and once to enter her bedroom while she slept. Anything else? Oh, yeah... how about the fact that the only plausible explanation for why she hasn't staked his ass a hundred times over by now is that she must feel something for him? But other than that, nah, Buffy hasn't led him on at all." Buffy simply says that she beats him up a lot, and to Spike, that's like third base. The audience says, "oh, yeah, there's also the fact that you haven't really laid a finger on him ever since that night you guys hung out after the shotgun incident." Anyway, Willow and Joyce are worried, but Buffy's sure it will blow over, and despite all of her talk from earlier in the episode about him being a monster and a serial killer and whatnot, she's completely not worried. Still, just to be sure, she decides to go confront him and make it clear that nothing will ever happen between them. Before she leaves, though, she asks Willow to do her a favor.

Cut to the Bronze, where Spike, looking very much like Big Bad Spike in his usual black ensemble and leather duster, which is really kind of a relief, walks in with Drusilla. They share a slow dance, and Dru spies a couple making out on the second level, and leads Spike upstairs. As they move towards the couple, they are both every bit the jungle cat stalking its prey. They move together, gracefully, like cats, and they look completely and utterly cool. Drusilla grabs the girl from behind, snaps her neck, and casually tosses her to Spike, who actually looks slightly horrified, as Dru moves on to the boyfriend. As she sinks her teeth into the boy's neck, Spike holds the dead girl in his arms, staring at her neck, and seems to struggle a moment with the decision before giving in and feeding from the girl.

I haven't read the shooting script for this episode yet, but I have a feeling that the trouble Spike seemed to have deciding whether or not to bite the girl was entirely James Marsters' doing, and maybe also the director's. But I seriously doubt it was written that way. Kudos to James for treating Spike's feelings seriously, even when the writers don't.

Buffy goes to Spike's crypt, but he's not there. She finds the trap door leading below, and goes to see what's down there.

I love Buffy for the same reason I love Scully. They are both brave enough to venture into the dark and creepy places, knowing there are probably monsters in there, and when either of them does it, it's not a moronic thing to do. Of course, with Scully, it's usually 'cause she's got a gun. But I digress.

The trap door is the entrance to Spike's lair. That's right, he has a lair. Apparantly the crypt only serves as his living room. It's big and roomy and creepy, everything a proper vampire lair should be. Buffy snoops around, and sees a sheet draped over something in the corner. She pulls it away to reveal the infamous mannequin, wearing the infamous sweater, and again I'm thinking, Phantom of the Opera would have been a much better analogy. Next to the mannequin is a collage made out of the stolen photos and sketches of her, and though my first thought should probably be that that's creepy, really, it's that Spike's not a bad artist. He writes poetry AND he draws. My kind of guy. Anyway, I didn't get a good look, but I imagine that the skivvies he stole from her room are also tacked up there somewhere. Buffy is bothered, but she still doesn't strike me as being as creeped out as you'd expect as she climbs up out of the lair, and right into Spike, who has blood caking in the corner of his mouth. Even so, Buffy doesn't seem too terribly upset, as she asks Spike what happened.

"Me," Dru replies from behind, and shocks Buffy with a cattle prod. Buffy realizes that perhaps she should have been a bit more worried about the situation as Spike stands by and snarks while Dru shocks her unconscious. Dru wants to tie her up and play with her before they kill her, but Spike says he's through playing. He then uses the cattle prod on Dru until she passes out, and says, "Bloody well through playing." And I say, HEE!

Buffy comes to, and Spike is standing by, waiting for her. Drusilla's tied up behind him, and Spike wants Buffy to watch while he stakes her, to prove his love. Buffy's not impressed with the offer. Oh, did I mention that Buffy's chained up? Because she is. Though, I'm really not sure this can be held against Spike, because likely otherwise when she came to she'd have been quick to stake him. Spike forces Buffy to look at him as he tells her that he loves her. "You're all I bloody think about... dream about... You're in my gut, my throat. I'm drowning in you, Summers. I'm drowning in you." SIGH. Dru laughs, and declares that she knew he loved the slayer before he did. Spike practically begs Buffy to throw him some kind of bone, the least little hint of affection, but Buffy doesn't believe that vampires are capable of love. Dru says that they are. "We can love quite well, if not wisely." Buffy's not convinced, so Spike offers again to stake Dru, going so far as to pierce the skin over her heart with the stake as he explains to Buffy how much Dru means to him and what a big sacrifice he's about to make for her. Buffy tells him to go ahead, it won't make any difference. Spike then threatens that if Buffy doesn't admit that there's something between them, he'll turn Dru loose and let her kill Buffy instead. I'm thinking Spike just lost some of his footing in this argument, even though he is so obviously bluffing. He begs her to at least tell him that maybe, someday, there's a chance for them.

Buffy looks up at Spike with come-hither eyes, and Spike looks hopeful as she says, "Spike... the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious." Ouch. Spike is fed up and tells Dru and Buffy both off. He tells Dru it's all her fault, that if she hadn't left him for the chaos demon he never would have come back to Sunnydale to get chipped. And then Buffy wouldn't be able to touch him. "Because this--" he points back and forth between himself and Buffy--"with you-- is wrong. I know it. I'm not a complete idiot. Do you think I like having you in here? Destroying everything that was me until all that's left is you in a dead shell. You say you hate it, but you won't leave." It occurs to me here that that last part could have been spoken by William to Spike, which is really very tragic if you think about it.

Just as Spike gets himself worked up into a real fury of righteous anger, he's struck by an arrow from behind. Harmony's back, and she's pissed. As she prepares another arrow, Spike gets up and attacks her. As they struggle, Dru manages to free herself and attacks Buffy, who holds her own pretty well despite the fact that she's chained. Spike dispatches Harmony and rushes to save Buffy from Dru, shoving his ex away so he can unshackle Buffy. Dru just looks at him in shock. "Poor Spike... so lost. Even I can't help you now." She leaves. And Buffy, that is, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, just watches her go. Then it's Harmony's turn. She tells Spike goodbye for the last time in her own ridiculous fasion, and leaves. And again, the vampire slayer just stands there and watches her go. Yeah. Credibility's slipping there, Buff. She turns to Spike. Vampire number three. He looks like he's about to apologize when she slugs him in the face, sending him flying into the Buffy shrine, and once again ignoring her job description, she leaves.

She's walking home, and Spike comes running after her. He's not ready to give up. He seems to be under the impression that their little ordeal back at the lair was just a lover's quarrel. Buffy is fed up. She wants him out. "I want you out of this town, I want you off of this planet! You don't come near me, my friends, or my family again, ever! Understand?"

He doesn't understand. He follows her all the way up to her house, insisting that they have something. "It's not pretty, but it's real. And there's nothing either one of us can do about it. Like it or not, I'm in your life. You can't just shut me out." He tries to follow her inside, but you remember that favor she asked Willow to do before she left? It was an uninvite spell. Spike's priveledges to Chez Summers are revoked, and he can't get past the front door. He stands there, looking surprised, hurt, and confused, as Buffy slams the door in his face.

Grr. Arrg. Followed by a Maybelline commercial, featuring none other than a much happier Sarah Michelle Gellar, and one suspects that if Buffy would simply wear that shade of lipstick the next time she encounters Spike, he'll run screaming and never look back, and that will be that.

Next week on Buffy: If you thought Spike got the message, well, you thought wrong.


<RANT>

This episode was written by Angel regular David Fury, who made it clear in a recent interview that while Angel, who despite having a soul and supposedly being good recently locked fifteen human beings in a room with two hungry vampires and left them for dead, is his pet hero, he thinks of Spike as nothing more than your average serial killer, evil to the core and incapable of any kind of redemption--a message which he made several blatant, unsubtle attempts to drive home throughout this episode. He also recently paid a visit to the Bronze, where he said, and I quote, "In the meanwhile, S/B shippers, you can go back to writing your penpals, Richard Ramirez and the Hillside Strangler, and I hope they finally accept your marriage proposals."

David Fury, you are on my list.

All of the B&S 'shippers I know, myself included, apparantly have a much better grasp than does Mr. Fury on the concept that Buffy and Spike are fictional characters who exist within a fantasy world where it is possible for a vampire to become a good guy. Of course, if they were real people, and this were real life, and Spike was a human being displaying the creepy stalker behavior of late, I would advise Buffy to install really good locks on her doors, get caller ID, take out a restraining order, and do her best to run like hell from the guy. However, this is not real life. This is a show about a girl with superpowers who constantly goes up against much scarier things than Spike. And Spike is not a psychotic human. He's a perfectly sane vampire. I would no more compare a vampire to a serial killer than I would a lion who attacks a wounded gazelle. Your average vamp is really nothing more sinister than a predatory animal looking for dinner. You don't fault the lion for eating the gazelle, and you can't really fault the vampire for feeding off of his prey. Both are simply doing what it is in their nature to do.

The question is, is Spike capable of rising above his nature? Fury says no. Fury also says that were that to happen, it would diminish Angel's uniqueness, which I think is really what his attitude towards Spike is all about, and therefore we should take his comments with a grain of salt and thank Joss that he's not the one in charge of these things.

Angel has a soul, sure. But before that he was, to quote Detective Kate, a particularly brutal bastard. And now, even with his soul, he's walking a very fine line between good and evil. He has proven capable of rising above his vampire nature, but he is far from achieving redemption. In fact, his quest for redemption is what his spin-off series is all about. Yet he was good enough for Buffy, simply because of the soul.

To quote Dawn, Spike has a chip. Same diff. Only, not really. For over a year now, Spike has had a chip in his brain, beating his demon into submission every time it tries to strike, and leaving plenty of room for whatever remained of William's personality to take hold and develop. Being forced to spend time with Buffy in a capacity other than trying to kill her or keep from being killed by her led him to realize that his obsession with her wasn't really about wanting her dead at all. He was in love with her. And now that love is causing him to make a concerted effort to be one of the good guys. Sure, his actions are inspired by love for the girl and not by any kind of altruistic notions of redemption or of good versus evil, but who's to say, now that he's started down that path, that his desire to make himself good enough for Buffy won't eventually lead him to true redemption? Well, Joss Whedon is to say, that's who.

At any rate, Spike is an entirely different creature from Angel, and from any other vamp. There is room for Spike to continue his hero's journey without taking anything away from Angel's place in the Buffy-verse; but whatever direction they choose to take Spike, and at this point there are so many possibilities, I have complete faith in James Marsters to portray it beautifully and continue to make Spike arguably the single most compelling character on the show.

</RANT>

</SPOILERS>

Tuesday, February 13, 2001

I'm going to perpetrate one of the definitive acts of mundane blogging by discussing my hair. To those of you muttering under your breath that I perpetrate definitive acts of mundane blogging every single time I post, just shut up. Nobody asked you.

I currently hate my hair. I'm thinking about chopping it all off. Well, not all of it, but several inches. The last time it was cut short, it was an accident, and I cried. No, I didn't just cry. I took one look in the mirror, then went into my bedroom, collapsed on the bed, and sobbed unctrollably for about an hour. But really, it turned out to be not such a bad haircut, once I got used to the lack of length. So I think I'm ready for short hair again, and I think that if I'm prepared to expect short hair this time, it won't be such a traumatic experience.

The problem is, I don't know what kind of hair cut I want. Last week I bought one of those celebrity haircut magazines, and I picked up a copy of Mademoiselle because it had an article about finding the perfect haircut, complete with pictures to clip out and take with you to the stylist. All of the haircuts shown in Mademoiselle were FUG-LEE. Apparantly sticking your head in a blender is the current trend in hair fashion. Since I'm not really much of a trendy person and tend to prefer my hair to look, you know, pretty, those styles were out.

In the celebrity mag, all of the styles were geared for either stick-straight or super curly hair. Nothing for in-between, mildly curly hair. Except for Debra Messing's, but she's got enough hair on her head for three people, and it involves lots of time with a curling iron, which I'm just not up for, and besides, with a friend like Terrence, I really don't need to invite any more comparisons between myself and Grace Adler, thankyouverymuch.

The only haircut I really liked was Allyson Hannigan's in this picture, and I would get it if I had straight hair. It's cute, and it looks to be low maintenance. I'm not sure how it would look on semi-curly hair, though, and I'm not anxious to spend a lot of time in the morning on straightening. Or on curling, for that matter. By the time I get 'round to doing my hair, I usually have about five minutes until it's time to leave. Yes, low maintenance is the key.

So, anybody have any haircut suggestions? Here's a somewhat recent picture of me, if that helps. Any and all entries will be much appreciated, though suggestions to shave my head will be scoffed at and ignored.

Because it's Tuesday, and I have a one-track mind, and I'm all about the sharing. Sharing my pain, that is* . For those of you who just can't wait, I've dug up plenty of spoilers for tonight's Buffy.

*I've managed to stay pretty unspoiled for this episode, and the suspense is killing me. Yes, I do realize posting these links is a form of self-torture, and the pain is exquisite. Except for the TV Guide article, I haven't read any of these, and am not going to until the episode airs. So if you comment on any of them and ruin anything for me, I will come over there and mess you up. Thank you and good day.

Monday, February 12, 2001

Hey, Peter! Your Xander figure's on it's way, dude!

...and there was much rejoicing.

Word.

So, the weekend:

Saturday morning I slept in later than usual, but thanks to the satellite dish and KTLA I still got my Batman Beyond fix. Afterwards I was glad I slept in, because that episode wasn't really worth getting up for. After getting around for the day, I violated my "no internet on the weekends except to check movie times" rule, because I needed to do some responsible things, like check the Guru listings, answer some e-mail, and check the score on my math quiz (which, by the way, I aced--yay on me!); but first I thought I'd take a teensy little peek at the spoiler thread on the Buffy boards, because, you know, I'm an obsessive spoilerwhore. That little peek led me to this spoilerific interview with David Fury and James Marsters, et al, which did a pretty decent job of ripping my heart out of my chest and squeezing it dry of every last little drop of hope for a Spike and Buffy pairing, which left me pretty bummed. So then I spent pretty much the entire afternoon on the boards, mourning along with my fellow delusional Spike & Buffy 'shippers/spoilerwhores. But being as that we are delusional, we managed to convince ourselves that David Fury's pants are totally on fire, and that his comments were all just part of Joss Wheden's elaborate campaign of misinformation intended to keep us spoiler dealers in the dark, and that there is still hope. That put me in a decent enough mood to go see Hannibal with Tess. But between a stop at Chick-Fil-A and the movie, we had some time to shop, and we each ended up buying a copy of Pretty Maids All In a Row. Tess was actually a bit reluctant to buy a copy at first, but peer pressure works. Which was good for me, because I didn't want to be the only one going up to the counter with a Buffy book. I mean, I'm almost 28 years old, people. I may be pretty shameless, but at least I do realize when I should be embarrassed by my odd little fangirl obsessions.

So then we went to the movie, where we stood in line for about 45 minutes, which so wasn't worth it. Afterwards, we spent a good deal of time complaining about the ways in which it deviated from the book, and then I dropped Tess off and went home to watch Xena. I'm glad I did, because Kevin Smith rocks. And he looks good doing it. Still wired, I tried to get back on the Buffy boards, but as I mentioned earlier, they were down. Which is probably a good thing, otherwise I'd have squandered my entire Sunday there.

I made a pact with one of my fellow delusional Spike & Buffy shipper/spoilerwhores (in fact, she's the president of the Delusional Spike & Buffy 'Shipper/Spoilerwhore Club. That's right, there's a club. I'm vice president. We're working on a better name) to avoid as much as possible any detailed spoilers for tomorrow night's episode, and in an effort to help each other through, we agreed to write up phony early-bird episode synopses for each other. So since I still didn't feel like sleeping, and couldn't get on the boards, I did that.

Amazingly enough, after having stayed up most of the night writing fake spoilers, which I do realize is really kind of sad, I still managed to drag my butt out of bed and go to church, where the pastor managed to work a brief diatribe against cussing into the sermon, and I was much ashamed, for about five minutes, but then I got over it--but that's fodder for a whole 'nother entry. After church I went home and finished my fake spoilers and sent them to their rightful recipient. Then I did some laundry and spent the rest of the afternoon reading my Spike & Dru novel, which is really pretty good so far, which makes me feel better about buying it.

And then there was X-Files. Was Scully's decision to stay behind and monitor the situation an actual indication that she's pregnant? Because if so it was the first one since the beginning of the season. Oh well, at least they're finally going to get around to that plotline next week. And speaking of which, it looks like they've finally succeeded in making me really like Doggett just in time for Mulder's return, which is kind of a shame, because I have a feeling once Mulder's back I won't give a rat's ass about Doggett anymore. But I could be wrong. Either way, I'm going to be might PO'd if we go the entire season without seeing any Krycheck. CSM I can live without, just give me some Ratboy and I'll be happy.

Lessons learned/conclusions reached this weekend: David Fury sucks; Hannibal doesn't live up to the hype; just because a book is based on a TV show doesn't mean it's not a great read; forums are addictive; David Boreanaz is a collossal goober (did you see him on Letterman? I was embarrassed for him); The X-Files doesn't completely suck this season; Nikita's father is The Equalizer, and that's cool; I am entirely too invested in the fate of a fictional vampire, and I get entirely too worked up over the actor who plays the aforementioned vampire, both of which are probably good signs that I need a boyfriend. Or at least a crush who isn't accessible only through my television.

I've come to the conclusion that the MBTV Buffy boards are like crack. They've been down since Saturday night, and I'm starting to experience withdrawal symptoms. I tried and tried and tried to log on yesterday, to no avail. Finally there was a message up late last night saying that they're changing servers and should be back up 2/12. Well, it's 2/12, and I went to get my fix, and they're still down, and I'm irritable, and beginning to shake. Of course, that could also be because I haven't had any coffee yet, but damn, people! I need my Buffy banter!

Sunday, February 11, 2001

I just saw Hannibal. The thing about this movie is, most of the people who see it will go in with pre-set expectations and biases. Comparisons to Silence of the Lambs, as well as to the novel Hannibal, are inevitable. It's almost impossible to judge this movie on it's on merit. Which is a shame, because by it's own merit, it's a good movie. It's beautiful and disturbing, well paced, well directed, stunningly performed, and it's a damn good story. Anthony Hopkins is every bit as brilliant and scary as you'd expect, and Julianne Moore did a great job filling Jody Foster's shoes. But, it's not as good a film as it's predecessor. As for whether or not it does justice to the novel, it kind of depends on whether or not you liked the novel's ending, because it was very different from that of the movie. A lot of people who read the book hated the ending. These people will probably love the way this movie ends. I, however, am among those who loved the book because of the ending, so I felt a little let down. I still liked the movie's ending, but the book was better. Aside from the ending, the movie also left out what I thought were some of the best and most important parts of the book, most notably Hannibal Lecter's life story. I mean, that was kind of the point of the book, to tell how he got to be such a freak; but this film doesn't even touch on any of that. Instead it focuses on the relationship between Lecter and Clarice, but it doesn't imbue it with quite the same intensity as in the novel. That said, if you avoid comparisons, it's a good flick. Just don't let that stop you from reading the book.

Friday, February 09, 2001

Well, I got my math done. Except the quiz, which I have to take before I go home. The rest of my list can wait til morning, I s'pose.

I suddenly feel extroardinarily crappy. I hope this is just a sleep-deprivation-induced crappy and not a coming-down-with-something crappy.

I just hope it's nothing that will keep me from seeing Hannibal tomorrow night. That would just really piss me off.

I am a delicate artiste. That's not something I want to face up to about myself, but I guess it's true. If I do something that I think is good work, and it goes uncomplimented, or uncritiqued, or generally uncommented upon for very long, I start to second guess my work, and think that it must not be very good, because if people could think of anything nice to say, you know, they'd say it. Right? So then I start harrassing my friends, insisting to know what they think, and demanding brutal honesty. Usually, they tell me I do good work and to stop worrying about it. So I do, because generally, they are honest. It's odd, though, because, like Erich, I don't usually receive compliments well. I never know how to react to them. Even so, when it comes to my writing, I have to confess, I am a compliment whore.

Today I have to finish my math assignment for chapter 2, and take the quiz. It will be inaccessible after midnight, so I have to do it today. I'm basically finished with the assignment, but I have to put it into an e-mail friendly format before I can turn it in.

I also have to write a set of fake spoilers for the upcoming Buffy (don't ask), and I'd like to write an entry for Internal Monologue, and between all that, I have to post new employee pictures to the staff web site, and arrange soem meetings, and do various other work-type things. Oh, and I need to check the postings at Guru and see if I can't find myself some work. Since I've already wasted half of my day hanging out on the Buffy boards and play-fighting with Terrence (which he went and deleted because I think he thought he actually hurt my feelings, or I hurt his, or something, I don't know, but he's a big baby nonetheless, but then I have been quite the bitch today, so perhaps I did go too far), I suppose I should stop writing this, shut down my browser, and get to it, right?

Right.

Ladies and gentlemen, Survivor haiku:

That's it for Mad Dog
Tina will miss her singing
That backstabbing bitch

Jerri likes Colby
She thinks that he thinks she's nice
but Cowboy's no fool

Jerri says, "Go fish!"
Last week she told Kel, "No fish!"
She's a fucking bitch.

Mitchell's very tall
He sure does like to complain
That's all he's good for

Rodger fell, but still
Immunity is Kucha's
Go Kentucky Joe!

Jeff's mean, but funny
just like most queens that I know.
Wait--not gay? You sure?

Idiot Michael
wants to bring home the bacon.
Fishing's for sissies.


That's all I have. I'm done.


Thursday, February 08, 2001

One of the drawbacks of living with my mom is that she has a tendency to let strangers move in. I think she has some kind of guilt complex about living in a big and roomy house. It's really not all that big and roomy, but it is compared to the house I grew up in, and compared to the houses she grew up in, it might as well be a mansion. So to ease her guilt, she shares the wealth, or at least the comfort, at every given opportunity. While this is commendable, it's not always smart. Shortly after the house was built, when her guilt was at it's peak, she invited a family of seven to move in there. Of course, my sister and I still lived there at the time. My sister had the upstairs attic apartment that I'm using now, and I had two bedrooms downstairs, the smaller of which I'd converted into a home office. This meant I had to give up my bedroom to the parents and the two sons and live out of my office, and my sister had to live out of the closet sized upstairs bedroom while the three teenaged daughters took over her living room. Yeah, I know, poor us. Actually, we didn't have a problem with this at first, since it was just supposed to be for a week or two until the dad found a new job and they found a new place to live. Six months later, my mom ended up buying them a house (with the stipulation that they would pay her back over time) because it was the only way we could get them to leave. She's sheltered other folks since then, but none have been quite as problematic. Still, when we made the decision that I would move back home, I insisted on paying rent specifically so that I would have the right to declare my attic off-limits and not be guilted into sharing it with any strangers.

The point of this story is that a new stranger is moving in today. The idea is that she'll be there for a week, just until her new apartment is ready. Which is fine by me, but my mom won't be home tonight, and the strange new lady whom I've never met will be there, which will be all kinds of awkward. I'm no good at entertaining strangers. Hell, I'm not even very good at entertaining friends. I'm told I'm not expected to, but you and I both know that unless she's hiding out in her room when I get home (which I would be were I in her situation, but that's just me), I'm going to have to make conversation. I couldn't even get it together to talk to the plant guy today, and I actually wanted to talk to him. Conversation bad. Tree pretty.

Anyway, I was going to just go hide out at Borders and finish my math homework, but then I remembered that Survivor's on tonight, and while it's not quite the mandatory TV viewing that is the WB (New!) Tuesday, I'd still really hate to miss it, just in case Jerri doesn't get her bitch-ass back in the kitchen and gets voted out of the tribe. So I guess I'll suck it up and go home. I've got 45 minutes in the car between here and there to try and remember how to make small talk.

Episode II toys!!!

Oh, hey, that article linked below contains lots of spoilers for next week's Buffy and upcoming Angel episodes. Consider yourselves warned.

Zap2it.com - "Sarah Michelle Gellar took back her statement that she'd leave the series if the show switched networks." Of course she did. And I'm glad, because I thought it was a pretty boneheaded thing for her to say in the first place. Um, Smudge? How about some loyalty to your coworkers and the creative folks behind the show that put you where you are today instead of sucking up to the network? Just a thought. Glad to see she's not totally devoid of common sense.

Hee. I'm definitely digging the plant guy. He just complimented me on my dinosaur staple remover.

Wednesday, February 07, 2001

Man, that's not funny. Pomeranians are on my list.

Let's get right to it, shall we? Requisite spoiler warning for anyone who didn't get to watch last night's Buffy & Angel.

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<SPOILERS>

Buffy the Vampire Slayer


Episode 5.13: "Blood Ties"

We open at the Magic Box, where Buffy is telling the gang that she doesn't want a big to-do made over her birthday, just like she does every year, and, just like they do every year, the Scoobies insist that a party will do them all good, and besides, it's her 20th birthday, which is a milestone worth celebrating. Also just like every year, talk of Buffy's birthday is a cue to the audience that there's some big angst a-comin'. And boy howdy, is there ever!

The conversation segues to Glory, and Giles takes the opportunity to exposit that the Council of Watchers informed them that "Glory and two of her fellow hell gods ruled over one of the more seriously unpleasant demon dimensions," but they don't know why she's in their dimension, other than some vague references to chaos and destruction. They deduce that her human form is limiting her god-like powers and affecting her mental state, and that she must be responsible for Sunnydale's recent rash of loonies. Willow suggests that they should focus their energies on trying to find the key before Glory does. Buffy tries to dismiss that idea, but when the gang insists that finding the key is their best strategy, she confesses that she and Giles already know the key's whereabouts. Willow and Xander are understandably upset at this revelation and demand to know why they weren't told about it sooner. When they don't buy her excuse that she thought it would be too dangerous for them to know, she sucks it up and tells them, "There's something you need to know... about Dawn."

Cut to the middle of the woods, where The Knights Who Say Key (tm Hercules) are sitting around a campfire and chanting about their holy mission to destroy the key. They are soon attacked by Jinx (a.k.a. Dreg II--and by the way, what the heck has happened to Dreg? He was a much better minion than this Jinx character) and a whole squad of crusty minions, who promptly get their butts kicked by the knights. Just as one of the knights is about to kill Jinx, Glory appears and proceeds to kick some knightly ass, which is actually very cool. She kills all but the cute one from last episode, and we go to opening credits.

The next day, back at the Magic Box, Dawn drops by after school, and the Scoobies all try their best to treat her like normal--Anya's best being to stare at her with a nervous grin and shout "You make a very pretty little girl!" Xander takes his usual place as Anya's keeper by asking her to go help him with "that thing." "Xander needs help with his thing!" Anya shouts to Dawn, and Xander quickly pulls her away. I laugh. Anya's funny. In spite of all of that subtlety, Dawn picks up on the weirded out vibe, but Buffy and Giles manage to distract her by asking about her day, but not before Dawn notices Giles' journal lying on the counter. Talk once again turns to Glory, and Dawn snots to Buffy that she's just upset over having to fight someone who's prettier than she is. "Glory is evil," Buffy insists, "and powerful... and in no way prettier than me!" Heh.

Cut to Glory, who has the cute knight tied up and is torturing him for information on the key. He won't give it up, and she gets tired and sucks his brain.

Back at the Summers home, it's party time! Buffy is opening presents, and Anya is loudly proclaiming her jealousy over the gifts, and for once I actually get irritated by Anya. It's not like this is the first birthday party she's ever attended. She was at Tara's, and I'm pretty sure she was at Buffy's surprise party last year. The newly human bit just isn't cutting it in this scene. Plus her blouse is obscenely ugly. So is whatever it was that Willow and Tara gave Buffy. Was that a sleep shirt? Let's hope it was a sleep shirt, and not something they'd expect her to ever wear out in public. Willow's top in this scene, however, is actually very cute. It's a great redhead color. I want one. But I digress.

Buffy opens Dawn's gift, which is a picture of the two sisters from a vacation at their dad's, in a frame covered with sea shells that they picked on said vacation, and everyone grows really quiet at the realization that the trip never really took place. Dawn gets a little weirded out and tries to lighten the mood by pointing out that she was just too cheap to buy a real gift. Buffy thanks her and hugs her, and everyone tries to go back to normal, but by now Dawn is understandably paranoid.

She eventually gets fed up by everyone's refusal to tell her anything, and storms upstairs to her room, where she sneaks out of the window and into the back yard, where she bumps into Spike. Hi Spike! Dawn accuses him of lurking, to which he replies, "I'm not lurking. I'm standing about. It's a whole different vibe." Heh. She notices that he's holding a box of chocolates, and apparantly it's the same box with which he blugeoned the mannequin a couple of episodes back, because it's pretty beat up. She makes fun of his lame attempt at a birthday gift for Buffy, and he tries to be menacing and scare her away, but she just laughs at him. Poor Spike. She then adds insult to, well, more insult by proclaiming herself to be badder than Spike, pointing out that while he's hiding in the bushes hugging his box of chocolates, she's sneaking out to break into the magic shop and steal stuff. Spike points out that there are "all number of beasties between here and there" that would "really go for a Little Red Ridinghood like [her]." Dawn tries to act brave and insist she can take care of herself, but after giving it some though, invites Spike to go with her.

Cut to the Magic Box, where Spike is having a little trouble picking the lock. Dawn complains, and he explains that his usual tactic is to just burst through the door. He succeeds with the lock and, looking mighty pleased with himself, smirks and says "That's right, who's bad now?" Hee. Inside the shop, Spike looks around for good loot to steal, and in one of the more amusing displays of continuity this season, spies Olaf the Troll's hammer leaning against a wall. "Troll hammer!" he shouts excitedly, and runs over to pick it up, but almost falls to the floor with the weight of it. "Wouldn't go with any of my stuff, anyway," he mutters. HA! Dawn explains that they're there to pilfer Giles' journal, which seriously disappoints Spike. She finds the journal and starts to read his entries about the key. Her reading falters as she begins to put two and two together, so Spike takes the book and, between some amusing comments on Giles' handwriting and his dull writing style, reads aloud, "They had to be certain the Slayer would protect it with her life, so they sent the key to her in human form, in the form of a sister." A beat. "Huh. I guess that's you, niblet."

Allow me to pause a moment to cast my vote for the next spin-off series: "The Adventures of Spike and Niblet." These two are really incredibly cute together. And I really like how Spike said "niblet," and if we could see that every week, I'd be happy. He should also declare things to be "neat" at every given opportunity. He has a way of pronouncing N words that melts my socks.

Back to the summary, which is already too long, so let's see if I can speed things up a bit.

Back at the Summers place, Buffy, Joyce, Willow & Tara are sitting around lamenting the lack of a birthday card from one Riley Finn, and I feel compelled to point out to my TV screen that Riley's been gone a while now, and we the audience are SO over him, and nobody really believes that Buffy misses him all that much anyway, so he really doesn't need to be brought up in every single episode. I don't think even Oz got so many post-departure mentions, and everybody actually does miss him. What's that? I said I'd speed things up? Right, then. Here we go.

Buffy declares a new birthday tradition: boyfriendless birthdays. The lesbians heartily agree, and Tara starts to stutter out something about some of her best friends, as if any of us buy that Tara has any other friends. Before she even gets started on her point, she focuses on something in the back of the room and says "Oh, my God." The others turn around to see Dawn, holding a kitchen knife in one hand and sporting a self-inflicted wound on the other. Alarmed, Buffy and Joyce rush to her, and she declares that if she bleeds, then she must be real, and she can't be a key. The party guests leave, and the Summers girls all go up to Dawn's room, where Buffy and Joyce try to explain everything to Dawn. These two scenes are really very moving, and I don't think I can do them justice here. Let me just say that I'm extremely impressed with Michelle Trachtenberg at this point. She cries even more effectively than SMG, and that's saying quite a lot.

Just as I reach for some tissues, they cut to the magic shop, where the gang discusses what to do about Dawn. Anya discovers that someone used a little magical urn as an ashtray, and Buffy gets a pissed off look on her face as she realizes that there's only one character on the entire show that is evil enough to actually smoke cigarettes. Cut to Spike's crypt, where he's sitting cross-legged on top of his sarcophagus, touching up his black nail polish. He registers no surprise whatsoever and actually tries to make conversation as Buffy comes storming in, as is her wont. Without a word, Buffy grabs the sarcophagus lid and jerks it forward, spilling Spike backward into the empty grave (prompting me to wonder what he did with the body, but I don't think that's something I want to dwell on), and pinning him upright against the back of it with the lid. Cool. Buffy proceeds to lay the blame on Spike, asking if he really hates her so much as to let Dawn find out the truth from a book. At this point Spike and I have both had quite enough of this mistreatment, and he stands up, flinging the sarcophagus lid aside as if it were nothing, reminding both Buffy and the audience that she's in the presence of an extremely powerful vampire and she would do well to watch her step. I found it incredibly gratifying to see Spike exhibit some of his old badness for a change after all of this chipped, helpless and Slayer-whipped business he's been going through lately. Buffy seems to get the message as Spike angrily points out that it was her job to keep an eye on kid sis, not his, and that he went along with her for protection. "Maybe if you'd been more honest with her in the first place," he tells her, "you wouldn't be trying to make yourself feel better with a round of 'kick the Spike.'" Without another word, Buffy storms out, and Spike looks hurt and frustrated. I think he needs a hug.

Dawn won't get out of bed and go to school, but after some attempts at mothering from Joyce, she decides school would be a better alternative. Meanwhile, at the hospital, Ben the Intern is threatened by Jinx, but points out that Glory can't touch him and they all know it, and threatens to finish the job he started on Jinx's face last episode if he doesn't leave him alone.

Back at the Summers place, we learn that Dawn was suspended from school for going off on a teacher. Joyce and Buffy argue over how to handle Dawn, and Buffy insists that they should give her some space. Dawn overhears and gets upset enough to trash her room and burn all of her diaries before sneaking out the window and running away. You know, you'd think parents would know better than to erect a trellis directly beneath a teenager's bedroom window. Buffy and Joyce discover she's gone, and Buffy assembles the Scoobs, including Spike, to help search for her. Buffy splits them up into pairs, declaring that Spike's on her team, which prompts Buffy & Spike 'shippers all over the continent to read all kinds of implications into her choice of search partners.

Cut to Dawn, who's walking through the park, recalling childhood memories that she now knows to be false. The angst is now coming in truckloads.

Giles and Xander are searching for Dawn in an alley, and Xander expresses his amazement over the fact that none of his memories of her are real, and that she is in fact an ancient being of living energy. He points out that Dawn has a crush on him, and Giles looks at him like he's some kind of pedophile, and I can't blame him, what with Xander's skanky 'do and all. Somebody please give Xander a good hair cut. Xander assures Giles that he's "just saying, powerful being... big energy gal, digging the Xand-man. Some guys are just cooler, you know?" Heh.

Cut to Spike and Buffy, searching the park. Buffy keeps calling out to Dawn, but Spike stops her and points out that she's the one Dawn ran away from in the first place, and if she hears her coming she's just going to take off again. He refers to Dawn as "niblet" again, and I feel a goofy grin spread across my face. Buffy stuns everybody by telling Spike that he was right about it being all her own fault. Spike goes through a subtle series of expressions indicating that he feels bad about making Buffy feel bad, but that he's irritated with himself for feeling bad about it, because making Buffy miserable is, after all, his purpose in life, or at least it was before he went and fell in love with her, and now he just wants to spare her from pain, and all of this in the space of two seconds, and why the hell James Marsters has never been nominated for an Emmy or a Golden Globe, I just don't understand. The man can act rings around the rest of the cast. He tells Buffy that besides being a blob of energy, Dawn is also a 14 year old hormone bomb, and this sort of thing was bound to happen eventually. He then reassures her that they will find Dawn.

Joss? If Buffy doesn't want Spike, can I have him? Please? I promise I'll take good care of him.

SIGH.

Dawn ends up at the hospital, where she makes her way into the mental ward and encounters the cute knight who's brain Glory sucked. He recognizes her as the key, but as she tries to get information from him he starts babbling about his mission to destroy her. Dawn runs out of the ward and into Ben. Ben takes her to the lounge and makes her some hot chocolate and tries to figure out what she's doing there. There's nothing sinister about it, he doesn't know she's the key and he's operating strictly in nice guy mode. He thinks she's upset about a fight with Buffy, and starts talking about his own sister and how he doesn't get along so well with her, and one assumes that he's referring to Glory. Dawn spills that she's the key and is shocked when Ben knows what she's talking about. Ben freaks out and tells her she has to run away because Glory is coming, but before Dawn can get anywhere, Ben morphs into Glory. Now, they could have earned so many coolness points here by doing something akin to the agents taking over civilian bodies in The Matrix, but I guess the special effects budget for this week was used up on that time bubble thing over on Angel. As such, it was a pretty unimpressive transformation, but shocking, nonetheless.

Dawn is shocked that Ben is Glory, but Glory tells her it's so much more complicated than that, but then, "family always is." Glory has no memory of Ben's conversation with Dawn, so she doesn't know Dawn is the key. After changing out of Ben's scrubs into one of her trademark red dresses, which, apparantly, Ben keeps for her in his locker, and after killing a security guard, she takes Dawn someplace more private and proceeds to interrogate her about the key.

Meanwhile, the Scoobies meet up and declare their failure at finding Dawn, and Buffy decides they should check the hospital in case something happened to her.

Unlike last episode, Dawn finally has the good sense to be scared of Glory, and tries to buy herself some time by asking Glory about the nature of the key, claiming that maybe she'll be able to help her find it if she knows more about it.

Cut to Buffy & co., who aren't sure whether or not to be relieved that Dawn hasn't been admitted to the hospital. They overhear someone mention the murdered security guard, and Buffy thinks it must be Glory. The start searching the hospital.

Glory describes the key's true form to Dawn, and tells her that it's almost as ancient as she is. Dawn asks if it's evil, and Glory says, "Totally!" Dawn looks distressed, but then Glory says, "Well, no, not really. I guess it depends on your point of view." Dawn tries to find out what the key is used for, but Glory becomes irritated at the questioning, and feels one of her episodes coming on. Just as she's about to suck Dawn's brain, Buffy enters. "Conversation's over, Hell Bitch." HEE!

Spike comes in and grabs Glory from behind while Buffy wails on her. "I thought you said this skank was tough," Spike snarks, and Glory proceeds to wipe the floor with his vampire ass. As he lies unconscious, Glory tells Buffy that when her boyfriend wakes up, she should tell him to watch his mouth. "He is NOT my boyfriend!" Buffy protests, and we 'shippers all shake our heads and say "Buffy, he is SO your boyfriend! Just accept it and we'll all be happy." Buffy tries to kick Glory in the face, but Glory catches her foot, and pauses long enough to compliment Buffy's shoes. Heh. Giles and Xander both make pitiful attempts at attacking Glory and get knocked around like little bitches. In the process one of the musses her hair, which angers her enough to proclaim, "Time to start the dyin'!" She throws a crowbar pointy end first at Dawn, but Buffy intercepts it and takes it in the chest, but it must not have been thrown very hard, because it does minimal damage. In the midst of all of the fighting, Willow and Tara manage to cast a spell that makes Glory disappear. The force of the spell knocks Willow down and bloodies her nose. Amazed, Buffy asks what they did. Willow explains that it was a teleportation spell that she and Tara had been working on, but that they hadn't quite worked out all of the kinks. Buffy asks where they sent Glory. "I don't know," Willow says. "That's one of the kinks."

Cut to the night sky high above Sunnydale, where Glory suddenly appears, and has just enough time to get half of a naughty word past the network censors before plummeting to the earth.

Back in the hospital, Spike comes to and looks slightly embarrassed, but everybody but me ignores him as Buffy begins to wrap this thing up by reassuring Dawn that, regardless of where she came from or how she came to be, she is her sister. The cut on Dawn's hand begins to bleed, and Buffy tells her that it's Summers blood. She gets some blood from the wound on her chest on her hand and takes Dawn's bleeding hand, mixing thier blood, which is really pretty nasty if you think about it, and says "just like mine." They hug and make up and Dawn seems to calm down and return to semi-normal, but then remembers that Ben was there and that he tried to help her, but for a reason that is not explained, she doesn't remember that he turned into Glory. Buffy reassures her that they'll thank him the next time they see him. Dawn worries that she'll be in trouble with thier mom for starting a fire when she gets home, but Buffy tells her that she has "a get out of jail free card on account of big love and trauma."

"You think she'd raise my allowance?" she asks.

"Dont' push it," Buffy tells her.

Grr. Arg.

Good episode. Heavy on the angst and light on the humor, but the truth about Dawn is out in the open, and the mystery of Ben's relationship to Glory is solved. And the cute knight had his brains turned to jelly, so I don't have to worry about him getting in Spike's way. Speaking of which, next week Spike will finally come clean to Buffy about his feelings. The episode is titled "Crush," and while the trailer tried to make it look like Spike actually has a shot with Buffy, I can't help but think that the title really refers to what she's going to do to him. Even so, the possibilities hinted at in the preview had me jumping up and down in front of my sofa. There were also squealing noises. I'm not proud of it.

Other takes on it:




Angel


Episode 2.13: "Happy Anniversary"

Honestly, tonight's episode wasn't worth an involved review. Basically, a lovesick physicist almost destroys the world when he tries to use his time bubble experiment to freeze himself and his girlfriend, whom he learned is planning to break up with him, in a moment of passion. When the scientist takes a turn behind the mic at Caritas, The Host has a vision of the world ending, and he recruits Angel to help track down the scientist and save the world. Angel reluctantly helps, and after much badgering from the Host, admits that W&H's plan to drive him over the edge is working. He realizes that he's never going to attone for the things he did as Angelus, and he's angry because Darla had a chance at redemption, but they took that from her, and now he's going to have to hunt her down and kill her, and after that he's going to burn W&H to the ground. He's pissed off that there are 200 highly intelligent law school graduates all working to drive him insane, and all of his friends are surprised and morally superior when he actually does start to crack. He's actually starting to feel bad about the way he just dumped Cordy, Wes and Gunn, but unbeknownst to him, the trio has reopened Angel Investigations, and are doing just fine without Angel.

It was an okay episode, but only about ten minutes of it covered anything important, the rest felt like filler. If you want a more detailed review, go read Loey's take on it. She gives this one and 8 out of 10 too, which is interesting, because it wasn't nearly on the level of last night's Buffy, and even compared to other Angel episodes, I think that's a pretty generous ranking. I'm ready to get back to the main arc now.

And on a related note, MBTV has posted a special edition recap of Valentine. I haven't read it yet, but I bet it's more entertaining than the movie was.

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