Feeling bereft of any creativity and/or originality today (not that I make any claims to an abundance of either on any other given day). So, here's a list. Tess e-mailed it to me, and heck if I know where it originated. Accompanying snarky comments are those of the originator (one would assume):

Subject: Fwd: Human Race Stupidity

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping".
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

2. On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside".
(Evidently, the shoplifter special)

3. On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how. . . ?)

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestions: Defrost."
(But it's *just* a suggestion)

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Oops, too late!)

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(As night follows the day . . . .)

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save even more time?)

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(One would hope)

10. On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to what?)

11. On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(I gotta admit, I'm curious).

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: Contains nuts".
(NEWS FLASH)

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta).

14. On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
(I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one).

15. On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?...Good grief)

16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:
"Do not use on food."
(Hey mom we're out of syrup! It's ok honey, just grab the Palmolive)