Y'know, perhaps part of why I go so long between updates sometimes is that often when I try, and I write a long-ass post like the following, it gets eaten or it doesn't publish. Anyway. The following was written today on my lunch hour:

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I am so, so tired. As usual.

I was going to try and pull an overnighter last night to finish my clinical psych paper which, according to the syllabus, was due to day. Around 10 last night it began to be apparent that that just wasn't going to happen, so I went to bed and instead got up early, early, early this morning to work on it. Like, 4:30. I'm not sure when exactly I reached the point where getting up early would be easier than staying up late, but I don't think I like it. I also don't expect it to last. I'm pretty sure this was just a fluke and pretty soon I'll be back to my old insomniac, night-owl self again. I hope. I'm thinking that the fact that I was up until 3:30 Sunday night/Monday morning chatting on AIM might have something to do with it. At any rate, my paper's not due until Thursday, so, like Wesley's kidnapping of Cherub, it was all for naught.

I pretty much hate everybody on Angel right now except for Wesley. Let me just make sure I've got this straight: Wesley sets out to protect Angel's son, as well as Angel, and also to shield his friends and loved ones from the burden, but no matter how good his intentions, because of the end result, he is the scum of the earth. Meanwhile Angel tortured and came very close to murdering a human being (a W&H lawyer, yes, but still human), showed his willingness to kill Lilah, messed with some seriously dark mojo while ignoring the possible ramifications, got several innocent people killed and injured (because of the car accident that was caused when he summoned Sajhan), flat out lied to Gunn & Fred in order to get past them into Wesley's hospital room, and then tried to murder Wesley -- and yet he's just a grieving father and it's all understandable and forgiveable. Because he's that vampire. The one with a soul. So he gets a free pass. Feh, I say. And don't even get me started on how unjust this is to Spike.

Spike and Wesley are the only remaining characers in the entire Joss-verse who are still sympathetic and likeable (well, okay, Anya and Tara, last time I checked, are pretty okay too), and yet they get treated like shit. Maybe this is why they remain sympathetic and likeable when everyone else is pretty dispicable. Eh, I've still got some sympathy for Buffy, but it's quickly waning and will be all used up if she doesn't snap out of it here pretty soon. But I digress. Probably the biggest and most disturbing surprise last night was Cordelia's lack of grief over losing the baby. Sure, she felt bad for Angel, and she was there for him, but she bonded with Connor, and you'd think she'd grieve for her own sake as well. And the fact that she never once even asked about Wesley was even more upsetting. I was going to chalk it up to bad writing, but my friend Tess suggested that maybe her new demonosity is causing her to be cold. Hmm.

Wow. I didn't set out to make this post all about Angel, really. Anyway. One paper down, three to go. Then finals. Then I'm done. For the summer, at any rate. Just two and a half more weeks to go until I can stop being seriously sleep deprived. Yay.

And now I'm off to take a nap. Because naps are good. Imagine what a significantly less cranky world it would be if everybody were able to take naps when they need them. Like I do. Right now. So, bye.