I hate being all brain-fried on Tuesday nights and then having to get up and go to school on Wednesday mornings, because then by the time I have a chance to sit down and mull over what happened on Buffy most of what I've had to say has already been said by others. But, redundancy be damned, I'm going to say it all anyway. Spoilers through "Sleeper" coming up ...

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Actually, it wasn't so much that I was fried last night as that I couldn't get past "Oh my God oh my God oh my God! Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!" in regards to this episode. And that's pretty much where I've been all day. But a few coherent thoughts have managed to break through the fangirl haze, the first of which is this: They better not hurt Giles!

There were two things I disliked about this ep, so let's get them out of the way here: "One bite stand" was lame and stupid, and I hope David Fury's responsible for that line and not Jane Espenson, because I :heart: Jane and I don't want her to have written something that dumb. Although she is responsible for "Beer Bad," so ... Anyway. It also peeved me when Buffy said Holden Webber had only been killed two nights before. Now, I've learned to let go of the whole headstone issue. Just because in real life it takes weeks, sometimes months (it took more than half a year with my dad's grave) for the ground on a new grave to settle enough to support a headstone doesn't mean that it has to happen that way on TV. Especially in Sunnydale where they could explain it away with magic, quick-settling dirt or something. But this still means that Holden was discovered dead, his body was processed, his funeral was held and he was buried all in the space of 24 hours. I don't care if it is just TV, or even if Sunnydale is home to a chain of McFuneral parlors, that bugs. But those were the only things I didn't like. Everything else? I want to marry.

I loved Willow being the rational one, keeping anybody from jumping to any conclusions, good or bad. I loved Dawn trying to find proof that Holden lied to Buffy so she could believe "Joyce" also lied to her. I loved the interaction between Xander & Anya, and between Anya and Spike. I LOVE that Spike got to deck Xander (so, SO satisfying, even though I'm liking Xander better this season than I have in a long time), and that Xander's lights went out before he could witness that the chip does indeed still work (and I also love that now all three major Buffy boyfriends have punched out Xander. That makes Spike, like, official or something). I loved creepy-flirty From Beneath You Buffy goading Spike into biting the girl and cheering him on. I loved that it's now canon that Billy Idol ripped off his look from Spike and not vice versa. I loved that in the same ep we got to see Evil Spike and Redeemed Spike and Love's Bitch Spike and Rocks Back Spike and Crazy, Confused, Angst-ridden Spike and DAMN do I love JM and that he's such a fantastic actor and that he's so, so pretty and that we got to hear him sing and we got to see him mostly-naked and that he finally wore leather pants! I loved that the evil robey guys have laid the fight right on the Council's doorstep and all of the implications and possibilities that brings up, and I even loved the evil, evil, twisted and cruel cliff-hanger with the axe being swung at Giles's head.

But most of all, kids, I loved the Spuffy. And there was so much Spuffy to love. Shallow and superficial things: Her acknowledgement of his hotness; the fact that he not only knows her cell phone number by heart but is a full-fledged "It's me" to her; her hesitation when the bouncer asked if he's her boyfriend; the way she totally checked him out during their first confrontation before he put his shirt on (though admittedly that could have been purely SMG)/ and the fact that she did seem a little jealous. Deep and profound things: His admission that it's still all about her and that the very idea that another girl could mean anything to him is ludicrous; her initial insistance that he couldn't be guilty and her reluctance to believe it even as the evidence piled up against him; the fact that the first thing he did when he began to remember what he'd done was to call Buffy and tell her, and that she came when he called and was so willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Despite (or perhaps because of) everything that's happened between them, they have SO much more honesty and trust than Buffy EVER had with Angel. It may be a while yet before they work their way back to a romantic relationship, but the love is so definitely there. On his side it's deep and unconditional and pretty much total, and Buffy finally realizes and accepts that. On her side, I suppose it's arguable as to whether it's really love, but she has admitted to "feelings," and that she doesn't really know what those feelings are. I still think that she does love him, that deep down she's loved him for a long time and that it's finally coming to the surface. I also think that it's so different from what she had with Angel that she can't yet recognize it for what it is. But I think she's getting there. I ALSO love that even under FBYID's control, Spike couldn't bring himself to bite Buffy, and that when he tasted the blood from her cut instead, that was all it took to snap him out of it and break the Big Bad's control over him. And I love that he's able to ask her for help now, and that she's so willing to give it to him.

I'm also thrilled to see that it looks like she'll continue to help and take care of him next week. It's really very fitting. Despite his actions at the end of last season, the fact remains that he got himself tortured for her, thrown off a high tower for her, he spent months looking after her sister because of a promise he made to her, he took care of her after she was resurrected, saved her life when she got all suicidal, allowed her to use him to make herself feel better, and when all of this wasn't enough he won his soul back for her. It's high time Buffy started giving something back to Spike, and I'm ecstatic that this is finally happening.

I'm still not speculating too much, because I really have no idea where Joss is taking us this season. But I'm more confident than ever that Spike is meant to be the Long Haul Guy and that he and Buffy will get back together and do it right this time. Damn, I loved this episode. I love this season. And God, do I ever love this show.