So, so tired. Two nights in a row of not sleeping well followed by a night spent in a Nyquil-induced coma with not enough hours to sleep it all off has left me, well, tired.

Anyway. In gender psych today we watched Reviving Ophelia, an info video based on the book of the same title. It included clips from Buffy, so that was exciting. I am apparently the only Buffy fan in the entire class, though, because nobody else went "meep!" when Spike appeared on screen. Anyway, again. The point was the depiction of women in shows targeted at teenage girls, and intermingled with other shows (mostly WB series -- imagine that!) were shots of Cordy & the Cordettes (including Harmony), Drusilla (flanked by Angel and Spike -- meep!), and Buffy herself. The longest clip was the one of Buffy. It was of Buffy entering the school library dressed in her little black trench-coat and heels (and nothing else), trying to seduce Xander in "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered."

Now while I see where they were coming from, and even agree with the point the video was trying to make, I gotta say it raised my hackles to see that scene included. For one thing, it was totally out of context and made no mention of the fact that Buffy was under the influence of a love spell and that that is not normal for her. And also, this is Buffy we're talking about. Super hero, both physically and emotionally strong, a highly intelligent woman and shrewed warrior who happens to like girly things but also has no problem with doing activities that will leave her covered in demon goo. Last season's behavior aside, she's really not a bad role model for a teenage girl to have. Then there's the fact that this show was really never meant to be targeted at teenage girls, and that was always a point of contention with the WB. They've managed to make that more clear since switching over to UPN. And also? Not one mention of Willow or Tara, neither of whom fit the conventional, unhealthy standards of female beauty that the show was being accused of promoting, and both of whom are nonetheless treated on the show as beautiful, desirable women. So, yeah. It kind of irked me to see the show portrayed in that light. But still, I got to see Spike while I was in class, so yay!

On a different (but still Buffy-related) note, I was initially a tetch dismayed that they didn't clear up once and for all that Spike intended to get the soul. So many people still think that he went to Lurky to get his chip removed, and the soul was a cruel cosmic joke, or granting him his "true" desire, or somesuch, but that he in no way intended for that to be the result. I suppose I can't blame them when even James Marsters thought that was the case and was shocked when Joss revealed over the summer that no, Spike never intended to get dechipped, he wanted the soul, that was the whole point.

Jane Espenson gave an interview on the Succubus Club the night "Grave" aired, and she also confirmed that yes, Spike meant to get his soul back. She said they deliberately tried to mislead us so it would be a surprise, but that she personally thought that was silly because, why would Spike need to get dechipped if he wanted revenge on Buffy when the chip doesn't work on her anyway? She was surprised when people didn't figure it out from the subtext. I just want to go on record as saying that some of us did. A lot of places deemed these interviews spoilers and we weren't allowed to talk about this stuff over the summer, but I'm tired of pussyfooting around it. And I'm tired of seeing people go on about what a poor job Mutant Enemy did with that storyline if we were supposed to believe that Spike really wanted a soul. Excuse me, just because you didn't glean this from the subtext doesn't mean they handled it poorly or that it wasn't there to be gleaned.

Gah. Anyway. Spike came to a decision at the end of "Seeing Red," a decision to change himself to be either fully monster or fully man. It never even occurred to me at this point that he'd decided to get the chip out. My big fear at the time was that he would become human. Once he got to Africa, he requested specifically that Lurky "make [him] what [he] was, so [he] can give that bitch what she deserves." Again, I was still thinking, human. I never thought the chip entered in. I never thought he wanted revenge. I read this as him being sincere in wanting to be able to give Buffy what she deserves -- someone who can be there for her and be an assett and support her instead of dragging her down into the darkness and causing her to compromise herself and her morals and her convictions. I wasn't even thrown by "that bitch." He was angry with her, naturally, and he resented the hell out of her for making him have to resort to such drastic measures as altering his entire being and becoming something he loathes just so he could stand a shot at being seen as good enough for her. In fact, I kind of agreed with the bitch assessment, looking at it from his POV. He loved her, he was prepared to do anything for her, but part of him hated her for it. But not enough to keep him from going through with it.

Anyway. The point is that I was hoping that, for the benefit of those who avoid ME staff interviews, something would happen or be said to make it clear that yes, Spike did intend to get the soul, the chip was just a red herring. Upon first viewing, I was cheered by the fact that the resouling clip in the previouslies was edited to remove a lot of the ambiguity, but I was disappointed when nothing happened to confirm this during the episode. But it occured to me a while ago that yes, it did. It wasn't blatantly stated, but it was still heavily implied, in the Big Evil's speech to Spike at the end:

BE/The Mayor: So what'd you think, you'd get your soul back and everything'd be jim-dandy? A soul's more slippery than a greased weasel, why do you think I sold mine? Well you probably thought that you'd be your own man, and I respect that.

And then:

BE/The Master: ...You'll learn that you're a pathetic schmuck, if it hasn't sunk in already. Look at you. Trying to do the right thing, like her.

So according to this entity, which seems to have a pipeline into Spike's mind (if it's not a figment of his imagination to begin with, and I don't think it is), Spike thought about what the soul would do for him, presumably before he got it (since he doesn't seem to be in a very rational frame of mind post-ensoulment), which implies to me that the soul was his goal all along. Also according to the entity, Spike was trying to do the right thing, which certainly doesn't suggest he had revenge on his mind when he went to Africa.

So. I'm a happy Jean. Some of the audience will probably still need something more blatant and anvillicious before they can accept that Spike meant to get his soul back, but that's their problem. As far as I'm concerned, this episode told us otherwise.