Sometime soon I'm going to have to take a day and just veg. Not leave the house, not get dressed, not write anything, but just hang out and watch videos and read comics and paint my toenails and not even think about all the crap I have to get done. But alas, today is not the day for that.

I didn't go to church today. Easter Sunday, and I didn't go to church. I haven't been to church in a great long while, and I feel terrible about it. Usually it's because Sunday is the only day I have to catch up on sleep, but today it was because I just have too much to do. I realize that my priorities are way screwed up right now, but, man. SO much to get done.

I'll be taking the summer off. I thought I'd go to summer classes, at least get one of my internships out of the way, but I really need to take the summer off. Then I'll get back in church. When your schedule's all hectic like mine is now I find it's much easier to make things fit that you're already doing than to make time for new things.

Today I have to finish up the newsletter and make fliers (flyers?) for all sorts of things. And I need to work on DL. I shouldn't be stressing about fanfic on Easter Sunday, but the writer who was originally supposed to produce this chapter dropped out at the last minute, and my friend Adj, who ROCKS, stepped in to help me co-write it so we won't end up way behind schedule. And she's busting her arse on it so that means I have to bust mine too.

Oh. By the way, Episode 2 went online last night.

I'm also stressing over what ME is going to do with Spike. I'm pretty unspoiled, but I read an interview with Marti Noxon (I don't have a link, and I realize that makes me a bad blogger, but there you go; it was in Wanda's column on E! Online if you want to go read it) wherein she talked about <SPOILERY STUFF> how Spike and Buffy weren't meant to work out for the long term and how they're having to reiterate why it can never work. Which I fear means that the whole redemption thing was a ruse, or something we were never supposed to glean from the text in the first place, and they're going to drive home that Spike is evil and will always be evil and all of the characer development we witnessed over the last two seasons means nothing. Whch, if it turns out to be the case, will really anger me, and I'll have to be so disappointed in ME for dropping the ball on such a great character and missing the potential to tell a fantastic story. </SPOILERY STUFF> They can redeem Spike without buggering up the Joss-verse canon about what it means to be a vampire. I mean, if there is one vampire in the whole history of the world who is defiant enough and rebellious enough to become a good guy through sheer force of will, and to keep fighting the good fight if for no other reason than to stick it to those who said it couldn't be done and to spit in the face of everything Buffy was ever taught about vampires, that vampire is Spike. To have him return to full-on evil now would be to have him give in to everybody's expectations and do what he's supposed to do, and from what we've seen that just isn't in his character. It's funny to talk about doing good as an act of rebellion, but there you go. If you're supposed to be evil, then doing evil isn't exactly all that rebellious, is it?

I realized the other day that I'm still delusional. Despite recent evidence to the contrary, I still expect Spike to achieve some sort of redemption, and I still expect him to get back together with Buffy. My reasons for believing such are too numerous to list in this entry, but despite Ms. Noxon's best efforts to make me despair, I remain hopeful.

Yes, I realize I spend way too much time worrying about the fates of fictional characters; but part of it is writerly hubris. I've been so certain that I've picked up on all the signposts and read them correctly and that I can see the direction in which Spike's story is heading, and I hate the thought that I'll be proven wrong and, even worse, completely clueless.

Ah, well. Back to the salt mines.