And why is Polly my hero, you ask? Because she is the personification of my inner smart-ass jerk self, the self that only people whom I'm pretty sure love me unconditionally, or at least semi-unconditionally, ever get to see. For example, in the first panel of today's column she summed up everything that flitted through my mind when I read the press release for Plastic, but was too timid to say aloud (or even to write down here). Polly rocks.