Years and years ago, foolish young thing that I was, I ordered one of those Make Money by Typing at Home info packets, because it sounded like a good idea at the time. I never did anything with it. I've never owned my own business (apart from occasionally taking money for helping someone with their web site or trying to be a freelance writer); yet ever since then, I've been receiving all kinds of junk mail for independent entrepreneurs, seminars, one of a kind business opportunities, how to get rich without ever actually working for a living, and what-not. Mildly annoying, but nothing I can't simply toss in the garbage with my Free AOL trial membership disks.

Lately, however, it's begun to go beyond junk mail to phone calls. Last night, for example:

"Hello?" I answered the phone.

"Is this Jean Cousins?" a woman asked.

"No," I lied, suspecting either a telemarketer or a creditor, to neither of whom I wanted to speak.

Telemarketer: "Is she available?"

Me: "No."

Telemarketer: "Well, when would be a good time for me to call?"

Me: "What is this in regard to?"

Telemarketer: "I received her name from [some mailing list that I've never intentionally signed up for], where she is listed as an at-home entrepreneur, and I'd like to tell her about a powerful business opportunity."

A powerful business opportunity! Hot damn! Between that and forwarding the Microsoft-Disney beta test e-mail chain to every single perosn I've ever known in the history of my life, I'm guaranteed to get rich and never have to work a day in my life! Plus I get a free trip to Disney World! Woo-hoo!

"That's nice," I say.

Telemarketer: "So, when should I call to discuss this?"

Me: "Try during the daytime, on weekdays, when she's usually in her home office, hard at work on her successful home business."

Telemarketer: "Would tomorrow afternoon be a good time, then?"

Me: "Sure."

Telemarketer: "Thank you. Have a nice evening."

Sucker.