So. I've decided to make a decision. That is, I've decided to quit being a total wuss, making list after list of pros and cons, asking friends, family and complete strangers what they think, mulling it over, and ultimately putting the decision off until it's too late to do anything about it and thus allowing the decision to be made for me by time, fate, and/or my pathetic wishy-washiness, as such is my usual tactic.

The decision I've decided to make is to go back to school.

I really wanted to be one of those anti-establishment success stories, the college drop-out who made it bigger and better than any of her degree-wielding peers, churning out best-sellers and all the while sneering and chanting, "I don' need no stinkin' BA!"

Sadly, though, I find myself a mere nine months away from my high school reunion, still unpublished, still holding a job that is just a job, with no real semblance of a career, and I'm beginning to have fits of anxiety about my future. What if I never get published? The few marketable skills I do have are pretty much worthless without a degree, at least according to every help wanted ad I've pursued or HR rep I've talked to. What if I'm doomed to be an administrative assistant for the rest of my life? That thought makes me contemplate doing very drastic things, things that will change my situation.

The least psychotic of those things is to finish my degree. Except that there's not really a whole lot to be done with an English degree other than write or teach; I've tried teaching (albeit on a substitute basis), didn't like it. Writing I can do without a degree.

So I'm changing my major to Psychology. This seems like a wise move for three reasons: one, it will give me an insight into human nature and behavior that can only enhance my ability to create strong characters; two, it's a subject that fascinates me, so it shouldn't be pure torture to get through; and three, if my writing career never amounts to anything, at least a Psych degree should prove useful in the job market.

This means starting over. Not completely, but it will require some general ed courses that weren't necessary for the English program, so it's going to set me back a bit. Also, since my company will foot the bill under the condition that my classes don't interfere with my job, I'll only be able to take one or two classes a semester. So, it's going to take a very long time to finish. Time during which I'll be an indentured servant to my company; but at least I'll be doing something about it, ensuring that I won't still be at this same desk, or one just like it, in another ten years.

There. I've made the decision. I'm going back to school.