Ladies and gentlemen (or whatever), you are now visiting the web site of a professional writer. That's right, baby! Me! I'm a pro! Abilities Magazine is going to publish my article about ADD in the workplace in their winter issue. And they're paying me for the right to do so. Hey, Mrs. Stone! Stick that in your bong and smoke it! Plan B my ass.

It's a glamorous life, this, the life of a professional writer... now if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean up some poodle piss.