This is incredible, and oddly relevant to today's postings.

You see, I too am a survivor. That's going to shock a lot of people, because I've never told anyone before. Anyone. I still don't want people to know. Oddly, I feel safe posting this here because it's mostly read by strangers. None of my family is on the web, or if they are they never come here. If you've found your way here and you happen to know my family, please don't mention this to them. They don't need to know. If you know me personally, please don't ask me about it next time you see me. If I wanted to talk about it, I would have by now.

I'm not going into details, they aren't important. What is important is that I have not spent my life feeling like a victim. I've always been a survivor. My stint with self-loathing and shame was very brief. I have a few problems, sure. I have some trust issues. I have difficulty getting close to men. But I am nowhere near as screwed up as I probably ought to be. I can deal with it. I've even forgiven my abuser.

My faith is the only reason for this. It kept me strong. It gave me hope. No matter how bad things have gotten, I've always known that it will be okay. There's a song, by Scott Kripaine (sp?), a contemporary Christian singer/songwriter, that makes me cry every time I hear it:

Sometimes He calms the storm
with a whisper, "Peace, be still."
He can settle any sea,
but it doesn't mean He will.
Sometimes He holds us close
and lets the wind and waves go by ...
Sometimes He calms the storm
but other times He calms His child.

Every time I hear that song I think of how God gave me the ability to cope with the things that have been done to me over the years. He gave me the strength not to be a victim.

If not for God, if not for my faith, I probably wouldn't be here today.

Just so you know where I'm coming from.