I need to stop doing web stuff for a while and start writing again. Really writing, as in new fiction or poetry or even just personal essays -- something from within me instead of without. One thing I learned with my last attempt at writing a magazine article: I hate writing fact. I hate writing how-to's, I hate just reporting without interjecting any opinion or feeling into the piece ... it's not worth it for me even if that's the fastest road to getting paid for my work. I've been spending all of my allotted writing time working on old stuff, editing and polishing or converting to HTML (but wouldn't that count as web work more than writing?), and even just enough of that to stave off guilt, but it's been so long since I've done something that fed my spirit. I want to put everything else aside and just write: my new novel, some short story ideas that have been floating around my brain, bad poetry, even fan fiction; but I have too many other things to do that need doing that steal my focus and keep me from being able to keep at it when I try. I have to finish getting my old novel prepped for submission, for one thing. I'm so sick and tired of looking at that thing. Then there are the web sites. I'm too obsessed with getting this one to look right to be able to leave it alone right now. And I have to finish my aunt's puppet site. I need some good things to put in my portfolio so I can get some work, even though more work will leave me with even less time to write what I love.

[SIGH]

Sometimes I think I should just choose: writing, or web design. One or the other. There just isn't enough time to do both as long as I still have to hold a (completely unrelated) full time job. I must be crazy to even try.

And yet I'm still trying.

Go look at Keith's new design. If that doesn't inspire you, reading about Fiona most definitely will.